


MysMe Oneshots

by Avistella



Series: Big Book of Collections [8]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, One Shot Collection, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 22:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 39,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11792904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avistella/pseuds/Avistella
Summary: Collection of reader insert one-shots for various characters (though mostly Zen) from Mystic Messenger.





	1. Jumin Han | Bubble Bath

**Author's Note:**

> You can find more of my works on [my Tumblr](http://avistella.tumblr.com/)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff/Slice of Life | Jumin prepares a bubble bath for you to help you relax.**

It was no secret that Jumin Han had some difficulties picking up on certain social cues. While he was an expert in the business aspect of social interactions, he was usually left confused and stumbling a bit during other day-to-day situations. The young man never thought much of it at first, thinking that he had his emotions under control, but then you came into his life and threw his emotions in disarray. A good kind of disarray that made him reflect on himself.

It was like a door to a whole new world opened up for the businessman, and he was willing to learn. He spent time with you, sometimes with an argument here and there, and he learned and discovered new things about you. About him. About others. At this point in your relationship with Jumin, he was already able to pick up on the small details of your behaviour and the mood you were in at the time. So when the young man noticed those exhausted sighs, sagged shoulders, and dragged feet, he felt compelled to act so that you can go back to being your usual self that he loved so much.

It didn't take too long for him to prepare something simple to help you relax. After spending much time with you, Jumin knew that you preferred the simplicities during troubled times. Being lavished was far too stressful since you still weren't accustomed to such a rich lifestyle from your previous one when you were just getting by. In a way, Jumin felt grateful since it was something akin to that of an affirmation that you loved him for who he was and not for his status or money.

The corporate heir had gone to draw the bath for you while you busied yourself with playing with Elizabeth the Third. After a few minutes, Jumin called for you, saying that the bath was ready. Placing the adorable feline onto the floor, you got up and headed towards the washroom, quirking an eyebrow when you saw the almost eager smile on your lover's visage. Upon opening the door to the bath, you realized why.

The lights were left off, instead allowing several carefully placed candles to light the room. They gave off a very subtle yet fragrant scent that already had you relaxing as your eyes fell upon the tub which was full of bubbles. Needless to say, it looked very inviting, and it took you a moment before turning back around to face Jumin who seemed satisfied with your reaction.

"You looked like you needed something like this," he explained, his feet padding on the floor towards you as he placed his hands on your hips and planting a gentle kiss on the crown of your head.

"Have I ever told you I love you?" You asked as a wide grin split across your features.

The young man hummed, tilting his head to the side. "You could try telling me more often."

You didn't miss the teasing lilt, and it prompted you to giggle before leaning forward to kiss Jumin's cheek. Upon pulling back, you linked your fingers with his and invited him, "Come join me?"

"Of course."

It didn't take long before both you and Jumin stripped yourselves of your clothes, and the young man gestured for you to enter the tub first, so you did. The water was the _absolute_ perfect temperature, and you couldn't stop the blissful sigh that slipped past your lips at the comforting sensation. You made yourself comfortable before Jumin joined in as well, the water sloshing around the both of you. Although the tub was large enough so that the two of you could have some distance in between, Jumin opted to settle himself behind you, and you didn't mind in the slightest.

You leaned back, allowing your tense back to rest against Jumin's chest as you sat in between his legs. A pleasing silence filled the air, only to be broken by a thoughful hum from the young man behind you when you felt warm hands on your shoulders. Although a bit awkward with his movement, Jumin applied some pressure to the knots in your muscles, letting you unwind in his arms.

Before long, you found your eyelids fluttering shut and just let the sensations fill you, both in body and mind. You hummed in contentment as you felt all of your previous frustrations, anxieties, and other bottled up negative emotions slip away. From behind you, Jumin's expression was soft, a sense of pride and accomplishment filling his chest when he saw your current state. Maybe he should do this more often if it meant he could see your face free from any and all tension like that.

Without saying a word, Jumin dipped his head down and placed a light kiss on your neck. "Are you enjoying yourself, kitten?"

The corners of your lips tugged upwards at the pet name, and you shifted around in the tub so that you were now face-to-face with the businessman, his eyes curious as he looked down at you. You cupped his cheek with one of your hands, and the young man returned your smile at the contact.

"Very much so," you replied before leaning forward to offer a long and appreciative kiss.

Jumin's fingers found their way threading through your hair as he kissed you back with just as much passion, relishing in the warmth of your body against his in the dimly lit room, the scent of the candles and bath mixing in with your own distinct scent that made his heart hammer against his chest.

Pulling away from the kiss, a smirk almost made its way to your lips at the sight of your lover's flushed cheeks as he stared at you with hooded eyes. Your teeth gently grazed along your bottom lip as you gathered up a pile of the bubbles from the tub and placed them on top of Jumin's head almost like a crown. You couldn't bring yourself to stop your laughter, your hands clutching your sides at the sight of the usually stoic corporate heir wearing a puzzled expression with a crown of soap bubbles in his hair.

"Hold on, I have to take a picture of this," you managed to say in between your laughter as you started to get up to retrieve your phone, hoping to save the memory and even share it with the other RFA members.

However, before you could even stand to your full height, Jumin grasped onto your wrist and pulled you back down, causing the water to splash all around as the two of you playfully wrestled with each other. The young man scooped up his own pile of the soap bubbles and gave you your own crown, a light laugh slipping past his lips at how beautiful you looked even with something so silly.

It didn't take long before the two of you were competing with each other, trying to make the other person look as ridiculous as possible with bubbles, your combined harmonious laughters bouncing off the walls and echoing in the room. Before either of you even realized it, the pair of you wrapped around one another with both bodies flushed together with very little space in between, your arms tightly wound around Jumin's neck while his arms were snaked around your waist.

Both of your bodies rumbled against each other's as the two of you laughed, uncaring of how loud you were being. All that mattered was that the two of you were together and happy. This sweet and innocent moment belonged to the two of you, and you alone, and there was nothing and no one in the world who could ruin this wonderful feeling of pure bliss.


	2. Jumin Han | Spoiled Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff | It’s not only gifts Jumin spoils you with.**

Being in a relationship was something entirely new for Jumin. He never really had the time nor interest in entertaining women or having them entertain him, but ever since you came into his life, he realized that there may be more to life than he initially thought. He wouldn’t say that he had missed out all those other times before, but rather, the corporate heir felt relieved somehow. Like he was waiting for you his whole life, as strange of an idea as it might have sounded to him.

In any case, Jumin was aware himself that he was inexperienced with this whole “relationship” thing. It was new and exciting, but also unique and terrifying. The young man once tried asking Zen for help, considering how much the white-haired male bragged about how much of a romantic he was; however, perhaps it was the way that Jumin phrased things, but in the end, the two only ended up into another one of their typical arguments.

So Jumin had no choice but to look at other sources for assistance, which in this case, were his father and all those romance movies that people often praised. From the information Jumin gathered, gifts were more or less a good way of showing one’s love for their special person. Of course, the businessman knew that it wasn’t the price of the gifts that mattered, but rather the thought behind them.

And that was what Jumin did. He thought of you, as he always had. Dresses that perfectly complimented your figure, accessories that matched the color of your eyes, little trinkets that reminded him of you. Almost everything he saw, he was reminded of you and your understanding nature in some shape or form.

Yet something still seemed off, the young man realized. Though you would always accept his gifts with a smile, it just didn’t seem…right. It felt as though something was missing—that perhaps he was doing something wrong, but he couldn’t figure it out no matter how hard he tried. It didn’t feel like it was ever enough. …He felt so incompetent.

“You’re frowning again,” your voice breaks apart the silence in the darkened bedroom, your hand leaving the warmth of the covers and instead choose to rest it on the young man’s cheek.

“Just thinking…” Jumin hums, a small smile playing on his lips at your concern for him as he takes hold of your hand so he can kiss your fingers.

Your lips press together in a firm line as you shift around on the bed, the sheets rustling beneath you as you lean above the corporate heir, gazing down at him as you trace small circles on his chest above his heart. “Thinking about what?” You inquire, tilting your head to the side.

“About you,” the young man answers vaguely.

An amused laugh leaves your lips as you lean closer towards the male and rub the tip of your noses together, the action causing Jumin to smile and scrunch his face. “I’m flattered,” you admit, “but why think about me when I’m already here in your arms?”

You move around even more, positioning yourself so that you’re now directly lying atop the young man, resting your forehead against his as your warm breaths fan each other’s cheeks. Jumin winds his arms around your waist, holding your body firmly against his own and revelling in the shared heat. “I’m thinking about what I can do and what I can give you so that you can continue smiling for me.”

Not expecting that kind of response, you blink back at your lover in surprise as you feel your heart swell. “Oh Jumin…” you breath out a sigh of admiration before gently pressing your lips against his soft ones, hoping it can properly deliver to Jumin just how special he is to you. “You are all that I will ever need to make me smile.”

“Truly?” Jumin asks, a hint of disbelief and uncertainty flashing behind his eyes for a moment, his arms squeezing you just the slightest bit.

“Truly,” you answer without skipping a beat.

You can practically see the cogs turning in Jumin’s mind as he contemplates your response before smiling in satisfaction. His lips twitch upwards into a small smirk, and suddenly your surroundings are blurring around you as Jumin flips the two of you over, changing your positions so that you’re now underneath him.

The corporate heir silently bows his head and buries it in the crook of your neck, the strands of his hair tickling you. Small giggles bubble out of you as Jumin places lazy kisses along the column of your neck, smiling against your skin as you squirm underneath his touch. He sighs in relief as he brings his face back up to hover over yours.

You lift your hands and bury them into his dark tresses, warmth pooling to your cheeks when you see Jumin’s eyes glaze over. “You have an early meeting tomorrow…” you remind the young man as he slowly descends his head so that he’s the only one you can see.

Jumin hums in acknowledgement, stopping just a few centimetres away from your lips. “I know,” he says as the businessman trails his fingers along the side of your body and pressing his weight further down against you, leaving you trapped underneath him. “But allow me to spoil ourselves just this once.”

You raise an eyebrow at that, an amused laugh spilling out. “Just this _once_?”

The young man chuckles, both of you knowing full well that his words are false, but neither of you complain as you mold your bodies with each other, falling together in a sea of ecstasy.


	3. Jumin Han | Trust Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Drama/Fluff | A rumour comes out that you’re cheating on Jumin with Zen, and you’re afraid of what Jumin’s reaction would be.**

It’s amazing just how vicious the public media could be, twisting words and statements around and interpreting situations to suit their own satisfaction. They would do anything to get a good story and try to rile up the general public. They can either raise a simple nobody to glory and make them out to be a hero, or they can drag someone so revered down through the dirt. Say what you will, the media possessed power.

Jumin was already used to dealing with those vultures from a young age. It was something he learned quickly and by himself, but you were different. Being hounded by the press or having self-proclaimed experts spouting nonsense about you online was completely new to you. Though you expected this kind of response after that public stunt Jumin pulled at the party, it was a bit more intense than you had initially thought.

You had just finished watching one of Zen’s performances along with Jaehee. Driver Kim had offered to drive the two of you back home, but it seemed as though he got caught in some traffic. You didn’t really mind the wait, and neither did Jaehee. After all, it gave the two of you more time to talk about and admire the musical you had watched.

The young man had excused herself for a moment, needing to use the washroom. You were waiting outside for her when you felt a tap on your shoulder, and when you turned around, you were surprised to be met face-to-face with Zen.

“Good evening, pretty lady,” the actor beamed, sending you a wink.

“Hi Zen,” you laughed at his usual flirtatious self, a wide grin on your face. “I _loved_ your performance.”

Zen’s expression softened, his teasing features becoming bashful instead as he screatches at his cheek. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself!”

You both engaged yourselves in some light and friendly conversation before being interrupted with one of the actor’s co-workers looking for him. Saying his farewells, Zen gently took your hand in his and placed a quick and chaste kiss on your fingers while reciting another one of his cheesy lines. You rolled your eyes in good-humour before shooing him off.

* * *

The next day, you received quite the surprise.

Jumin had to leave early that morning, but you never failed to wake up along with him and see him off with a deep and long goodbye kiss. Since you still had time before you had to start getting ready yourself, you decided to watch a bit of the news, and you were caught off guard with your name being plastered across the screen.

Apparently someone had taken a picture of you and Zen together last night, and people automatically assumed that your relationship with the actor was more than just friendship. You felt nauseous as you listened to the lies that fell from the reporters’ lips.

They were accusing you of cheating with Jumin and labelling you as a gold digger and slut. You were so stunned by this sudden turn of events that you didn’t take notice of the tears that pricked at your eyes or the way your breathing had become more heavy. Even the ringing of your phone didn’t reach your ears.

You were only brought out of your trance when Elizabeth the 3rd rubbed her soft fur against your ankles, a concerned mewl spilling out. You glanced down towards the feline, a ghost of a smile playing on your lips as you leaned down to pick her up and place her on your lap. Elizabeth the 3rd purred contently as you absentmindedly stroked her fur, finding comfort in the action.

There was only one thought that kept pulling at your mind: how would Jumin react to this?

By the time Jumin got back home, you were a complete mess. Your hair was disheveled, and your eyes were all puffy and red. The fear and anxiety of what Jumin’s reaction would be to the incredulous rumours had you pacing around the penthouse, different sorts of possible conversations murmured out from your lips.

The moment you heard the distinct sound of the door opening, you froze. Usually, you would have gone running to Jumin’s arms, but your legs betrayed you and refused to move. Taking a deep breath, you force yourself to greet your lover.

Jumin already finished slipping off his shoes when he saw you appear in the corner of his eyes. He raised his head to smile at you, but when he saw your current state, he frowned. His eyebrows stitched themselves together in worry, and it felt to him like he couldn’t move fast enough as he abandoned everything else and ran to you.

The corporate heir took your tear-stained face into his warm and large hands, tilting your head upwards to look at him. “My love, what’s wrong?” He asked, planting several kisses on your forehead and cheeks, hoping it could provide you some comfort from whatever it was that caused your lips to be marred with a frown.

Shakily, you breathed out, “There’s…something I want to talk with you about.”

“Of course,” Jumin answered immediately, turning you around and placing his hand on the small of your back as he guided you to the sofa where the two of you could be more comfortable. “What is it?”

“I…” You started but then immediately trailed off, the words getting caught in your throat. Seeing your hesitation, the young man took your hands and flashed you a reassuring smile, his thumbs tracing small circles on your skin. Closing your eyes, you mentally prepared yourself before trying again. “There was something about me on the news today…”

“Ah, the one with you and Zen?”

Your eyes widened with surprise, and you leaned back away from the businessman. “Wait, you know of it?” Your voice wavered with your question, whatever script you were planning to say fading away from your mind.

Jumin nodded, confusion evident on his features as well as hurt that you were shying away from him and his touch. Nevertheless, the young an tried to bury those emotions so that he could focus on you and whatever it was that was troubling you, first and foremost.

You panicked. “I swear, they’re all lies! I view Zen as nothing more than just a friend. You’re the only one that I love!” You blurted out, your explanation tumbling out with a flourish. “Please… Please believe me.”

Ashamed of how defensive you sounded and afraid of Jumin’s response, you bowed your head low, biting at your bottom lip as your eyes stung with the threat of your tears once again. Then, to your surprise, you felt Jumin’s fingers cup your chin, his touch careful as he slowly guided your head back up to look at him.

“I believe you. Of course I believe you,” the corporate heir breathed out, his eyes unwavering. “Is that what you were worried about? That I would think you really were cheating on me with Zen?”

Too embarrassed to form words, you nodded your head. At that, Jumin responded by wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you to his chest. “I trust you. Nobody what the world says, I will always trust you.”

“So…you’re not mad or anything?”

“I’m not mad _at you_ if that’s what you’re worried about, sweetheart,” Jumin clarified, his smile making its way into his voice now that he understood the situation. “But I guess I _am_ a bit jealous.”

“Jealous?” You repeated, pulling back from your lover’s embrace just enough to look at him, a bemused expression on your face.

Jumin tilted his head to the side, humming thoughtfully. “At least, I think it’s what you would call jealousy.”

Without waiting for your response, the young man let out a chuckle before dipping his head low and captured your lips, a reaffirmation of his love for you and the strong bond of your relationship together.


	4. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Hurt/Comfort | Zen struggles after having ran away from home.**

They say that time heals all wounds, but how long does it take to heal a broken heart? To heal oneself when one’s entire self-worth and confidence was stripped down to nothing? Every second. Every minute. Every hour, day, _week_ that passed by, nothing seemed to improve for Zen. Perhaps the teenager should have put more thought into his decision for running away, but he doesn’t regret his choice, and he believes he never will. He couldn’t bear another moment in that household.

The first few days were decent enough, still hyped up from the adrenaline of finally taking control of his life. But then the struggles with money and basic necessities started to arise, coupled with years of pent up stress and frustration, Zen broke down. Lashed out.

The male thought he could be fine on his own, but he was mistaken. Zen thought that if he took things slowly, he’ll be able to live a proper life. His _own_ life. To build himself up to obtain his dreams, but maybe that was just wishful thinking. Wasn’t time supposed to fly when you’re having fun? Zen was finally free, so then why did it feel like he was still chained down?

Zen would never harm an unsuspecting civilian, but that still didn’t stop him from trying to instigate a fight with whoever looked tough. The aspiring actor didn’t really remember much, but he lay on the side of the street in the pouring rain, all bruised and bloodied from a fight he underestimated, especially after considering that he was on the brink of starvation.

For a moment, Zen truly believed he was going to die there, but then the sound of a motor filled his ears, and somehow…it gave him hope. It hurt to move, but even so, the teenager lifted his head to see who it was that would be witnessing him at his lowest. The aspiring actor never expected it to be someone teeming with confidence in the way they carried themself. Confidence which Zen lacked himself.

You mounted yourself off your motorbike and removed your helmet, peering down at the male before you, your leather jacket weighing heavily on you from the rain. Crouching down, you place a gloved hand on the teenager’s cheek to guide his face to look at you, and you ask, “ _do you want to live?_ ”


	5. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Apology Not Accepted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Hurt/Comfort | Sometimes, there’s no need for an apology.**

Zen is able to pick up on it almost immediately. It isn’t too hard to miss: the way you fall silent, your shoulders slumping like the entire world was placed on it, and your eyes becoming so far and distant. The actor can see it in your eyes. He watches as that shine becomes dull and is instead replaced with dark and murky thoughts. Thoughts he strongly disagrees with, but his voice can’t reach you when you’re like this.

You become slow and weighted, your motions lethargic as you fight a long and hard battle inside your mind. A war with yourself. A war that Zen wants to help with but is utterly useless because you won’t let him.

“I’m fine,” you lie through your teeth. You shrug off the actor’s hand on your shoulder. Somehow, it just makes you feel more leaden. You know and understand that Zen means well, but that doesn’t make things any easier.

It’s killing you, slowly but surely. With each second that ticks by that you allow such thoughts to linger, you can feel yourself decaying piece by piece. You didn’t think it was even possible to _feel_ thoughts in your own physical being.

And it’s not just you that’s dying. It’s killing Zen too. He feels useless and scared and alone. You keep on taking one step further into that darkness, and Zen is afraid of the day he completely loses you.

“You’re not fine,” Zen insists, almost pleading. You both know that he’s right, but it’s because you’re both aware that you don’t bother voicing it out loud. In an attempt to lighten the mood, the young man continues, “You’re not as good of an actor as you think.”

“I know,” you admit. It’s a simple acknowledgement, but it helps relieve the weight a little. …But only a little.

“Talk to me.” You can’t tell if that’s a request or an order. Either way, you choose to refuse.

It’s gotten to the point that you can’t even form words. You shake your head, apologetic, but it’s all you do before you turn around to walk away. You need some space and time alone, but those are just your troublesome thoughts talking; it’s not what you truly want nor need, and Zen is able to pick up on it.

He takes your wrist captive in his hand, his grip on you firm with obvious refusal to let go any time soon. Zen pulls you back to his chest, and you can hear his heartbeat. It soothes you, somehow, and whatever small amount of resistance you had left leaves you. Zen feels the shift in your demeanor, but he still doesn’t let up with his hold on you.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper out a vague apology. Your voice comes out so quietly, yet the words seem so heavy and difficult to carry.

Zen shushes you, his lips brushing against your temple. “Don’t apologize.”

You want to listen, but you can’t. Another apology tumbles out from your lips. The thoughts still linger.


	6. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Bad Habit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff | Zen tries to help you stop your habit of picking your lips.**

“Ah…”

Upon hearing your lightly surprised voice, Zen looked up from the script he was reading, only to be greeted by the sight of you running your tongue across your lips over and over again, trying to stop the small bleeding from the broken skin. Your face was scrunched up, disliking the taste of iron on your tongue as the bleeding continued.

You heard a small sigh from the young man as he placed his script down on the seat he was previously sitting in before making his way over to you. He knelt down to your level, and his hands were careful as he cupped your cheek, guiding your face so that he could get a better look.

“Babe, I told you that you needed to get rid of this habit,” the young man gently chided you, his eyebrows furrowed together as he recalled all those times he warned you about the negative effects picking at your lips have. “It’s not good for you.”

“I know,” you whined in defeat. “It’s just…”

You trailed off to resume licking at your injured lip, the wetness of the blood still present. A soft and almost childish whimper slipped past you, and Zen smiled sympathetically. Stroking your cheeks with his thumbs, he tilted his head to the side.

“Here, let me help,” the actor insisted, and for a moment, you were confused as to what it was he planned to do.

Zen leaned closer to you, and realization finally dawned. You retracted your tongue back inside your mouth just as Zen’s lips pressed against yours, both of your eyelids closing shut at the same time. The actor hummed against you, his tongue flicking at your lip where the skin broke, lapping up the blood. He ignored the tangy, iron taste, instead focusing on the other sensations of the kiss.

You were certain that your lip finally stopped bleeding, and you were about to pull away to thank the actor, but he kept his grip on your cheeks firm, effectively keeping you in place. Your eyes widened with surprise, gasping into the kiss. Sensing your gaze on him, Zen’s own eyelids fluttered open without once breaking away, and he stared back at you, a silent question lingering behind his eyes.

You answered by allowing your eyes to fall shut once more and parted your lips, sighing against the young man when his tongue snaked its way inside your mouth. Your tongue met his, swirling the wet muscles around each other in an attempt to distract yourself from the metallic taste that still lingered

The kiss steadily grew deep and heavy, both you and Zen pushing against each other and trying to pull the other closer in sync. You conceded and allowed your tongue to rest as the actor had his way inside your wet cavern. He stroked and flicked everything he could possibly reach, shivers coursing through his body at the soft and needy moan that tumbled out of you.

Your fingers curled around the fabric of the actor’s sleeve, your mind starting to grow dizzy and faint. Realizing this, Zen pulled away to let you breathe and catch yourself. The young man on the other hand hardly seemed out of breath; only his cheeks were dusted a slight pink.

Smiling at you, Zen traced his fingertips along the shape of your now moist lips. Seemingly satisfied with his work, the young man nodded.

“The next time I see you picking at your lips, you can be certain I’ll be kissing you like that again,” Zen decided.

“And what if I want to be kissed like that?” You asked with a teasing shrug of your shoulders, a coy smile dancing on your features. “Seems counterintuitive, don’t you think?”

The young man chuckled, resting his forehead against yours. “Every time you _don’t_ pick your lips, I’ll reward you with something even better than a kiss…”

“And what would that be?” You smirked, opting to have some fun and play dumb.

“That depends on you,” Zen answered, his fingers trailing along the length of your arms in slow and purposeful motions. “What do you consider better than a kiss?”

Biting at your lower lip to contain yourself, you leaned forward to whisper in the actor’s ear with an answer he wasn’t quite expecting. “Free food.”

You leaned back to watch Zen’s reaction. You could see on his features the process it took him to register your response. Scrunched eyebrows in confusion, thinking that perhaps he heard wrong before slowly melting to one of realization and then ending with an amused grin, loud laughter rumbling out of him. The actor clutched at his stomach, trying to control the volume of his voice.

Breathing out a sigh of relief after having finally calmed down, Zen placed his hand on top of your head and stroked your hair. “If that’s what you want, princess, to get you out of that bad habit.”


	7. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Blanket Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff/Slice-of-Life | You and Zen cuddle underneath the blankets.**

The morning spring air was chilly, the window left slightly ajar from last night since the bedroom could get pretty stuffy sometimes. Light rain tapped against the glass, the sun obscured by the grey coulds overhead. Despite the early hour, you can still hear the bustling sounds of the city just outside, but you choose to ignore the world for the moment, not yet ready to face the day.

You bury yourself even more underneath the sheets, your eyelids heavy with lingering sleep, but the movement draws out a small groan of protest from the male who has taken his place beside you on the bed. The arm draped over your waist squeezes the smallest amount, and you can feel soft strands of hair tickling the back of your neck which elicits a soft giggle from your lips.

The cheerful sound prompts Zen to crack open his eyes, a lazy smile playing on his lips when he’s greeted by the sight of your body against him. “Good morning, princess,” the actor breathes out, his voice low and husky, still laced with sleep. You reply with a hum of acknowledgement, not yet fully awake to form proper words.

Zen’s arm leaves your waist, and you don’t waste any time at all to turn around on the bed and move closer towards him. “It’s cold…” you mumble a small complaint against his chest, and the young man nods in agreement.

“We forgot to close the window last night,” Zen comments idly.

“ _You_ forgot to close the window last night,” you correct him with a grumble and half-hearted pinch to his cheek.

Zen chuckles and responds with a quick apology, grabbing hold of your wrist before bringing your hand down to his lips. He lazily kisses each individual finger, his grip on your wrist loosening so that he can trail his fingers up and down the length of your arm instead. Zen then moves to kiss your knuckles before proceeding to trail his lips around to plant themselves on your inner wrist.

You breathe out a slow and deep breath as Zen’s eyes flicker to meet your gaze, his own gaze lidded from both sleep and adoration towards you. The actor runs his fingertips along your arm one last time before he shifts around, his lips trailing feather-like kisses instead and moving towards your shoulder while his hand slides over the side of your body and then settling itself on your hips.

Zen places several light kisses on your shoulder before giving you a peck on your cheek, and you can feel him smiling against your skin. He leans towards your ear and gives it a quick kiss as well. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” The actor whispers, his voice barely audible.

“You tell me every morning,” comes your usual response to his everyday question, joy laced in your voice. “…I’m still cold, you know.”

The corners of Zen’s lips twitch upwards into an amused smile as he goes back to lie down on the bed, his warmth leaving your face. The young man then grabs the edge of the blanket which fell down to your waist from all his movements and tugs it with one smooth motion above both of your heads, completely burying the two of you underneath the material and away from the rest of the world. Right now, your world only consisted of the small and warm space underneath the covers with your lover beside you, staring into your eyes with so much depth of emotions behind them.

Zen’s arms find their way around your body once more, the only sounds filling your ears being the gentle patter of the rain outside. You bury your face into the young man’s chest and inhale his scent, your own arms moving to wrap around his waist and rest on his back while you bring your legs to comfortably drape over his own, pressing your bodies flush against one another.

“Let’s stay here a bit longer.”


	8. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Breathe Life Unto Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Angst | You need to breathe.**  
>  **NOTE:** Contains attempted suicide.

The bathroom was filled with nothing but the sound of the running water into the tub. Your eyes were dull as you mindlessly watched the water level increase more and more. Somehow, it filled you with a sense of comfort, but it also struck fear deep in your heart.

Your eyebrows stitched themselves together. _No_. You wouldn’t doubt yourself now. You’ve already decided upon this, and nothing could convince you otherwise to stop. This was better for you. For _everyone_ around you that you always seemed to disappoint. It was a wonder why you never did this earlier. …Oh yes, because of the fear.

Once you did this, there would be no turning back, but then again, it wasn’t like you had anything to turn back to. You had no one, save for a few friends and your ever loving boyfriend, but it was because you loved them that you decided this was the best choice for them. After all, how could a worthless lowlife such as yourself be ever deserving of such kindness? Such happiness, no matter how fleeting?

You were doing everyone a favour. You had no place in their lives. You were nothing but a waste of space. A waste of time. A waste of money. A complete and utter waste. Wasn’t what they always told you when you were younger, or was it you yourself that said such words? You didn’t know; memories you’ve tried to suppress became muddled, mixing together with your own self-doubts.

You choked back an ugly sob, your heart throbbing with painful stabs that made your legs feel weak. Blinking back the tears that have poured out once more, you tried to clear your blurred vision. With a shuddering gasp, you gripped onto the bathroom counter, almost knocking down the bottle of sleeping pills you had placed there.

The bathtub looked filled up enough.

No second thoughts now.

You were going to do this.

You _had_ to do this.

You had _no other choice_.

Picking up your phone from the counter, you brought up the draft of the message you spent days trying to articulate. You gave it one last read-through, making sure that you’ve said everything you wanted to say. After all, you didn’t want to leave behind any regrets. You didn’t want your loved ones to blame themselves. You wanted your loved ones to know that you truly loved them.

For a few seconds, you struggled with pressing the “Send” button. Your vision became blurred again, and your hand trembled violently. Your phone fell from your grasp and crashed onto the tiled floor. You cursed underneath your breath as you bent down to retrieve the mobile device. You stood back up to full height and pressed the button before any doubt can creep back in.

After making sure that the message had been sent to all the recepients, you placed your phone back onto the counter and instead grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills. You popped the cap off and tilted the bottle, the contents spilling out onto your outstretched hand. You weren’t too sure how many pills lay in your palm. It could have been three, or it could have been twenty. You weren’t really paying attention since all you wanted to do was get this over with.

You practically shoved the pills into your mouth, taking hold of the glass of water you had prepared and gulped its contents to help you swallow everything. After doing so, you stepped into the filled tub, not bothering to take your clothes off. You closed your eyes and lay down, allowing your body to become submerged in the cold liquid and accept whatever darkness took hold of you.

* * *

Your eyelids are heavy, and you can’t bring yourself to open them. Are you dead? Your mind feels like it’s stuffed with cotton, but you eventually start to become aware of some sounds. It’s noisy, wherever it is you are, and you groan in protest, only to wince at the pain in your throat.

You feel cold, but there’s a warmth on your hand. Curious, you manage to bring yourself to twitch your fingers. You’re vaguely aware of a clattering sound, and you think you hear someone calling your name. It almost sounds like Zen’s, and it’s what convinces you to try to open your eyes once more.

The light is incredibly bright when you slowly bring your eyelids to flutter open, and it makes your head pound, but that familiar voice sounds so broken and desperate that it motivates you to push through all the pain for now.

Slowly but surely, you’re able to start making out shapes, and your boyfriend’s face greets you, your hand tightly grasped in his own as he kisses your fingers. Zen looks like a complete and utter mess. There are bags under his red and puffy eyes which overflow with fresh tears. His hair is in disarray, his ponytail loose as various strands stick out at odd places and angles. The actor also seems to have lost some weight, his cheeks looking sunken in, and his forehead is creased from all the times he continued to furrow his eyebrows together.

But his smile… His smile looks so much more radiant than you’ve ever seen it, rivalling that of the warm sun. There are so many emotions dancing behind those lips that continue to mutter out “thank god” over and over again. Relief. Joy. Guilt. Pain.

And that’s when you realize: you’re alive.

Somehow, you realize you feel relieved but also frustrated. This isn’t how it was supposed to go, but seeing Zen’s entire body wrack with sobs, you wonder if it’s better like this. Your heart clenches painfully in your chest, and your body feels weighted and in agony, but you understand that you’re not the only one hurting.

You had hurt Zen in a way you’ve never seen him before, and it almost kills you inside. Tears start to form in the corner of your eyes and start to spill. You don’t care if it hurts to cry—it almost always does—but your emotions are an entire mess, and everything just starts to overflow. Guilt weighs down heavily on your chest, and all you can hope to do is apologize and make things right somehow. …Next time.


	9. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Slice-of-Life/Fluff | You move to a new city and make a new friend.**

Breathing out a dragged out and relieved sigh, you set down the last of your boxes on the living room floor. Turning on your heel, you shut the door before moving to plop yourself down on a chair and glance out the window, the sight completely new to you. You had just moved to a new city, excited to start a new life.

The apartment you would now be living in was small, but comfy and affordable. Fishing through your pockets, you take out your phone and decide to check up on your social media. Hopefully you would be able to get the Wi-fi up and running soon so that you didn’t have to rely on your device’s data, but you’ll make do with this right now.

A grateful smile etches itself onto your lips as you scroll through the different heartfelt messages of your friends that you left behind in your old city. Your heart makes a numb and subtle pang. Even if you were excited to start your life anew, you couldn’t deny the creeping loneliness of the unfamiliar city.

Turning your attention back towards the window, you can see just how bright and sunny it is outside. Your gaze falls towards all the boxes that need to be unpacked, and you decide that outside seems much more tempting. With a small grunt, you stand up from your seat and head towards the washroom to freshen yourself up before going to explore your new and vast city.

In truth, it’s a bit overwhelming at first. It’s much more crowded and noisy than you’re used to, and even though you were just wandering around to get a feel for the area, perhaps it would have been better if you actually _planned_ where you wanted to go. Your eyes lazily scan your surroundings and happen to fall upon a quaint café. Almost as if on cue, your stomach rumbles at the promise of some delectable sweets, and you simply can’t ignore it.

Upon entering the café, you’re immediately greeted by the scent of coffee and baked goods, the atmosphere light and friendly. Smiling to yourself, you go ahead to order a drink and small snack before taking an empty seat. Taking your time with your snack, you scroll through your phone as the idle buzz and chatter of the café continues on around you.

You’re just checking up on some of the latest news when you hear the chair across from you scrape on the floor, prompting you to look up. A young man you’ve never seen before smiles sweetly at you as he takes off his sunglasses and places them atop the table, revealing one of the most piercing red eyes you’ve ever seen before in your life.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” the male apologizes, his voice just as smooth as his silvery-white hair.

For a moment, you’re merely stunned silent at the fact that someone so striking was sitting in front of you and _talking_ with you. Then his words finally registers in your mind, and your features slowly start to melt to one of confusion. Seeing this, the young man leans forward, almost desperate, and brings his voice down low to an urging whisper. “Please play along with me.”

Before you can respond, a new and frankly annoying voice pitches in, a gaudy-looking woman appearing beside your table. “Zen! I could use some more practice of our kiss scene. Won’t you help me with it?”

You see something akin to that of annoyance flicker through the male’s expression, but it’s quickly gone that you’re not even sure you saw it properly. Nevertheless, you more or less understand the situation.

The young man, Zen, flashes the woman a charming smile that inadvertently affects you just as much as the other female. “I’m sorry, but I’ve already made plans with my friend,” Zen apologizes, gesturing towards you. You take that as your cue to play along and offer a small smile and nod. Nodding himself, Zen continues, “Maybe some other time.”

The woman’s gaze shifts between you and Zen, and seemingly coming to some strange and unknown conclusion herself, she concedes. “Okay then! Maybe later tonight? Call me.”

With a backwards flick of her hair, the woman turns and leaves the café, leaving you very confused. Zen brings his attention back to you, bowing his head low. “Sorry about all that, and thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” you reply with a light shrug of your shoulders.

“I’m Zen, by the way,” the young man formally introduces himself, and you reciprocate with your own introduction. “I feel really bad for just using you like that. Is there any way I can make it up to you?”

Usually, you would have declined such an offer, but it wasn’t every day you managed to meet someone so good-looking, and you _were_ still unfamiliar with the area. “If it’s not too much trouble, I would appreciate it if you showed me around the city.”

Zen’s eyebrows shoot up at your response, and he cocks his head to the side. “Are you new here?”

“Yes, I just moved in today,” you answer bashfully and take the last remaining sips of your drink. “So how about it?”

“I would be honoured,” he beams, standing up and offering his hand for you.

To your pleasant surprise, Zen makes for a really great and fun guide. He’s quite considerate, you realize, matching his pace with yours and making sure that you don’t get lost or separated but still maintaining a respectable distance. He does take an awful amount of selfies however, but his good-mannered humour makes up for it.

By the time evening falls with the sky painted several warm shades, both you and Zen part ways, but not before exchanging contact information. It seems as though you both enjoyed each other’s company, and Zen ended up becoming your very first friend since moving here.

* * *

It took a bit of time, but you eventually manage to fully settle down and become accustomed to your new place. You’ve met new people, and what was once a foreign setting is now a familiar and welcoming sight. You didn’t think that you would have been able to adapt this quickly, but you figure that it was all because of Zen’s help.

Zen has been a great friend to you thus far and helping you out whenever he could. The two of you often stay up at night together, chatting on your phones. The musical actor, as you later discovered his occupation, would always sing you a quick lullaby before wishing you a good night. He was your comfort, and before you even realized it, Zen somehow managed to make himself your home.

You turn to lie on your side, hugging the pillow close to your body as your mind wanders off to Zen. It’s been happening a lot lately, and although you’re afraid to admit it, you realize that you’ve fallen in love with your friend. Heaving a lovestruck sigh, you retrieve your phone from its resting place and open it up to your social media, wondering if Zen posted anything new.

Due to Zen’s career, it was sometimes difficult to meet face-to-face, but thankfully, social media was a saviour. Both you and Zen followed each other on pretty much all platforms and always interacting with each other. It even got to the point that some people started shipping the two of you together. It’s an entertaining thought, but you never really have the courage to bring it up with the actor.

Your phone suddenly buzzes to life, causing you to jump in surprise before melting into a smile when you see you’ve received a text from Zen: _“Are you available this weekend?”_

_“I should be. Why?”_

_“I want to take you somewhere and spend some time with you. And if you can, wear something nice that you like. It’s special.”_

Your heart skips a beat at the vagueness of his words, uncertain as to what it is exactly that the actor was planning for you, but you’re not complaining. The week passes by without anything new happening, and when the weekend finally arrives, you can barely contain your nerves.

When the knock finally arrives at your door, you panic for one quick second. Giving yourself one last final lookover, you answer the door and greet the ever handsome male with a smile. Zen returns it with ease, and after exchanging formalities, guides you outside and towards his motorcycle.

Even though it’s not your first time riding on it, those butterflies still appear once more. But then you feel Zen’s hand squeeze yours in a reassuring manner, and now those butterflies have increased but for a different reason. You hop onto the motorbike with Zen, winding your arms around his waist before he speeds off to wherever it was he wanted to take you.

Arriving at your presumed destination, you hop off and stare with wide eyes at the sign of the café that you’ve been wanting to visit for some time now.

“I actually used to work here when I was younger,” Zen comments, pulling you out of your trance.

“Did you really?”

The actor nods, a reminiscent look behind his eyes. “Mm-hmm. The owner’s my friend and incredibly kind. C'mon, let’s go in!”

Without waiting for your response, Zen grabs hold of your hand and drags you along inside, a small thought of how this feels like a date flitting into your mind. When you step inside, the first thing you notice is the grand piano off in the corner of the café before your attention goes back to Zen who seems almost nervous somehow, but you decide against commenting on it.

Your time with the young man in the small place is fun, and it feels great to be able to laugh and joke around with Zen again, catching up with each other. Your eyes wander to the piano once more before it’s time for the two of you to leave, the actor having promised that there was one more place he wanted to take you.

“You know, maybe one day I’ll let you hear me play the piano!” Zen shouts over the noise of the street and motorcycle, deciding to kill some time with conversation.

“You play?!” You ask, surprised to discover new things about your friend more and more.

“Yeah! I wasn’t exactly…’ _good_ ’ with people at the time, so I made money by performing instead.”

You grin at the thought and tighten your hold on Zen who seems to tense up the slightest bit from your actions. “I would love to hear you play one day!”

A few more minutes later, the two of you finally arrive at your destination. When you get off, you find Zen holding out a black cloth to you. “I want to put this on you so that it can be a surprise. Do you trust me?” The young man asks, his usual easy-going demeanor being replaced by one of seriousness instead.

“Yes,” you answer without missing a beat.

The actor’s expression softens at that, and you catch a glimpse of a different kind of warmth than usual behind his eyes before your vision is suddenly obstructed by the soft cloth. Your hand becomes encased in Zen’s larger one, and he starts to lead you up what feels like an incline. The trek is quiet throughout, but there’s not a hint of awkwardness in the air. Nervousness perhaps, but nothing else uncomfortable.

Once you feel the ground start to level out, Zen lets go of your hand. “Wait here,” he tells you, and you offer him a curt nod.

A small breeze brushes your cheeks as you patiently wait for Zen to come back. You feel his warmth appear from behind you, his fingers working through the knot of your blindfold. Taking some time to adjust, you blink your eyes a couple of times before gasping out loud at the beautiful scene in front of you.

You can see the horizon, the city looking so small down belong. Seconds pass by as you admire the sight for as long as you can when Zen’s voice fills your ears from behind. He’s humming, you realize, but after listening to a few more notes, you finally become aware of what he was humming: your favourite love song.

Immediately, you snap your head back to face the young man, your expression a mixture of surprise, joy, and confusion. The moment the two of you lock eyes together, Zen starts singing. The lyrics he sings are different from the original, but somehow, you find the actor’s version to be _much_ better. His words seem to have a deeper meaning behind them, and it touches your heart in ways you never knew was possible.

The song comes to an end, but before you can clap your hands together, Zen takes out a bouquet of your favourite flowers from behind his back. You stand there, completely stunned, and then it clicks. Every single thing that happened today was all about you and what you liked. You’re confused on how Zen was able to figure out all of them, but then you remember all those late nights on the phone and all those interactions on social media.

He _remembers_. Zen remembers each and every single little detail that you’ve ever revealed to him, and you finally become aware of just how hot your face feels.

The actor clears his throat, preparing himself for what he’s about to say as he holds out the bouquet in his hands even more out towards you. “I know it isn’t much, but the truth is…while I do enjoy being your friend, I want to be something more than that. I love you—for quite some time now, actually—and I was wondering if you would like to be my girlfriend from now onwards…”

Zen’s voice wavers near the end, and you find it incredibly cute with the way he bites at the corner of his lip in anticipation. You don’t bother holding back your grin at the actor’s confession which honestly seems more like a proposal if you think about it, and you take one step forward and place your hands atop the young man’s shaky ones.

“Yes, I would love to.”

Your friend—now boyfriend—lets out his breath that he wasn’t even aware he was holding before flashing you a bashful smile. A giggle bubbles out of your chest as you go and hug the male, finding it to feel a bit different from your previous hugs. It’s somehow much more exciting and full of wonder. Everything seems new yet familiar, but it’s a journey you won’t be facing alone.


	10. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Angst/Fluff | It’s time for Zen’s conscription.**

It was only for 21 months. It really didn’t sound _too_ long of a time, but somehow, the idea of being away from Zen for that amount of time made you uneasy, especially since you never know what could happen during the actor’s conscription. Zen had avoided his conscription for a while now, wanting to put as much of his time and effort into acting, but Zen’s fame was starting to rise. If the public found out about his negligence of duty, it would reflect poorly on his image and the backlash would be severe. In the end, Zen decided to just get it over and done with, but even so, the thought of leaving you all alone while he served in the army terrified the both of you.

“I’ll be fine,” Zen spoke softly, but you couldn’t tell if it was a reassurance for himself or for you. His hand reached out to stroke your cheek, and it pained your heart when you felt the slightest of trembles against your skin. You lifted your own hand and placed it atop the actor’s, trying to steady it with your own shaky one.

“You’ll be fine…” you repeated, and again, it was difficult to tell just who exactly you were trying to convince. After a pause, you added, “I’ll be fine.”

Zen nodded, his free hand moving to wrap around your waist. It would be a while since you would feel this warmth again, and when that realization hit you, you flung yourself towards the actor’s chest. You both stumbled back a bit, but as soon as the pair of you were able to regain your footing, you buried your face into Zen’s chest while he pushed your body flush against his.

“Promise me you’ll come back.” Your voice was muffled, but Zen was still able to pick up on the strain in your voice.

“I promise,” Zen answered firmly, running his fingers through your hair. “I promise I’ll come back to you.”

Slowly, you pulled back from the actor to properly look at him, a sad and uncertain smile etched on your features. “…I’ll be waiting.”

Overwhelmed, Zen took your face into his hands and suddenly pulled you in for an intense kiss. It took you a moment to process what was happening, but as soon as you did, you started to kiss him back with just as much vigour. Zen’s lips tasted salty, but you weren’t sure if it was from your tears or his, trying to lessen as much space between the two of you as possible. After all, there would be nothing but lots of space between the pair of you as soon as Zen leaves.

The kiss became less like a kiss and more like a desperate attempt to mold your mouths together. Tongues swirled against one other while hands roamed across everywhere and wherever they can reach. Both you and Zen tried to memorize each other once more in this small moment, not knowing just how much things might change in the span of his conscription. You wanted to commit every detail to memory. The feel of his trembling figure. The taste of his mouth. The sound of his soft sighs against you. The smell of his shampoo. The sight of his glossy eyes staring back at you.

“I love you,” the actor whispered to you, afraid of speaking any louder as his voice might betray him and waver and crack.

“I love you too.”

Throughout the entirety of Zen’s time serving his country, you both tried to keep in contact each other as much as possible, especially with video chats since those helped alleviate the ache in your heart the most. It was terrifying and painful to think about what Zen might be doing now, if he was taking care of himself, but you would remember his promise of coming back to you, and it helped get you through the days.

The first few weeks were extremely difficult, a heavy sense of anxiety anchoring down your heart to your stomach. It was lonely in the apartment, and you often found yourself going over to somebody else’s place for company. Everybody, the RFA and Zen’s fans, were very supportive and encouraging towards both you and Zen the entire time, and you felt grateful towards them.

Counting the days only seemed to stress you out, so you eventually stopped, merely holding onto the hope that Zen would come home soon. …And he eventually did.

When you open the door, about to leave for a quick stroll around Zen’s usual morning run route, you stop in your tracks just before you can crash into someone. You heart hammers against your chest as you slowly bring your gaze upwards, and familiar red eyes lovingly greet you.

At first, you’re not too sure how to react, your mind still trying to catch up with what you were seeing. You merely stand there, frozen in spot as your mouth opens and close, trying to find your voice. Your widened eyes start to gloss over, and your vision becomes blurred. Before you know it, you’re screaming and crying, throwing yourself onto the actor who catches you with ease.

You bury your face in the crook of his neck, ugly sobs leaving your lips, but you don’t care about that. All you care about is the familiar feeling of fingers threading through your hair. The familiar light and airy chuckle against your ears. The familiar flash of silvery white hair caught in the sun. The familiar sweet scent that you had grown to love and miss this entire time.

It’s only when the situation dawns on you more that you finally become aware of the wet droplets that fall onto your neck, Zen’s shoulders shaking underneath your arms. The actor tightens his hold against you, wanting to make up for all the lost time before pulling back so that he can kiss you on the lips, and you almost melt against him.

“Welcome home.”


	11. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Hurt/Comfort | You have difficulty explaining something to Zen, so you write a letter instead.**

They say that scars eventually fade with time, but that wasn’t always necessarily the case. Some scars stayed with you forever, deeply rooted into your heart from a time long ago that you wish you could forget. There were days you could pretend that those scars were never there, hiding behind smiles and laughter, but they still lingered in the depths of your mind. They were there in those small actions and careful choice of words or lack thereof, even if you were never fully conscious of them.

“Hey, babe?” Zen spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence in the living room as the two of you sat nestled together on the couch with you between his legs, your nose buried into a book while the actor absentmindedly ran his fingers through your hair from behind you.

“Hm?” You made a small sound of acknowledgement of having heard the young man, but you were still somewhat distracted in the story you were reading.

Zen hummed as he contemplated on how to phrase his question. “I’m not pressuring you or anything, but do you think you could introduce me to your family some time?”

Your mind grinded to a halt, your eyes stopping dead in their tracks of the words they were tracing on the page. Zen didn’t seem to notice the way you tensed your shoulders as you hesitatingly asked, “Why…?”

You felt the actor casually shrug his shoulders from behind you as he answered, “It’s just…well, we’ve been dating for some time now, and I still haven’t met your family.”

“Is it… _necessary_ for you to meet my family?” You continued to question, speaking slowly and carefully, a small edge hidden behind your voice.

“Not really,” Zen responded, “but I think it’d be nice for me to meet them, y'know, to introduce myself as your boyfriend.”

You remained quiet for a moment, chewing at your bottom lip as you buried your face even more into your book, but it was more out of fear and cowardice rather than to read the words on the page. “I…haven’t had any contact with them for a while now, so I don’t know…”

It was only then that Zen noticed the shift in your behaviour and attitude. “Babe?” He asked, placing his hands gently on your shoulders. His eyebrows furrowed together in concern when he felt the slightest of trembles, but the actor wasn’t given a chance to comment on it as you had abruptly stood up from the couch. Zen’s eyes followed your lonely looking back as you started heading towards the washroom.

“Excuse me,” you muttered with a strained voice as you retreated the conversation with hurried steps, locking the washroom door shut behind you.

Several minutes passed by with you locked inside the washroom, and Zen grew increasingly worried. He walked over to the door and raised his hand, ready to knock, when you suddenly opened the door. The two of you jumped slightly in surprise before you bowed your head. You weren’t fast enough, however, and Zen was still able to catch a glimpse of your reddened eyes which caused his heart to clench.

You tried to push past the actor aside, but he quickly caught your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you lied feebly, and you couldn’t help but wonder where your usual talent with lying seemed to go at that moment.

Zen’s eyebrows stitched together. “You can tell me if something’s bothering you.”

“It’s _nothing_ ,” you repeated, much more insistent. There was a finality in your voice that made Zen drop the subject overall, but he was still worried. His grip on your shoulder loosened, and you took that as your chance to walk away.

It wasn’t like it was your intention to be so cold and distant all of a sudden like that, but you needed time. You were still recovering, albeit at a very slow pace. Of course, Zen had no idea what it was that you were recovering _from_ exactly, and you understood that it wasn’t fair to him for you to keep quiet, but you couldn’t bring yourself to talk with the actor.

…No, that wasn’t it. You were still in denial. If you lied to yourself that you were okay, then that was merely the truth you would tell him. Fake it ‘til you make it, was it? But you couldn’t do that. Not to someone as special to you as Zen. …You needed to collect your thoughts first.

* * *

By the time Zen comes home, you’re napping away on the couch. The male’s expression softens at how peaceful you look, and he makes his way over, kneeling down so that he can admire your sleeping face. He carefully brushes away some strands of your hair so as to not disturb you and places a soft kiss to your cheek, smiling to himself when he pulls away.

Zen then stands up and walks over to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water when he sees a neatly folded piece of paper on the table addressed to him with your handwriting. Confused, and perhaps with a hint of apprehension, the young man picks it up and unfolds it, his eyes scanning over the contents.

The actor’s lips parts in shock as he reads through your letter that explained your reason for your behaviour in regards to your family. You tried to explain to the best of your efforts the emotional trauma that they had caused you with their words and lack of attention and care towards your emotional needs. It all seemed to click to Zen. He finally knew why you were always so complacent when it came to making decisions or why you would accept whatever argument was thrown your way without too much of a fuss. He finally understood why you would flinch at the slightest rise of volume in voice whenever somebody talked to you or why you would always seem to go out of your way for him despite his protests.

Anger boils through Zen as he can feel all the hurt and pain you felt from your words. He can sense the guilt and blame you carried, not just for keeping quiet about this to him, but also because you truly felt like any time anything went wrong that it was your fault. That it was your fault your family treated you like they had in the first place because you believed that you weren’t good enough and up to standards.

Just how long did you have to live like that? Zen knew what it felt like to be constantly degraded by the people he thought he could trust. He knew just how deep those scars could run. He knew what constant disappointment and disapproval towards your hopes, dreams, and who you were as a whole could do to you, especially if those spiteful words were spoken to you at such a young age.

What was it that people would usually say? “It’s their own way of showing that they care and love you”? It’s because people are told those kind of things that they think it’s a normal occurence and acceptable to strip someone’s dignity like that. Nobody deserved such treatment, yet here Zen was, reading through your honest words of all the shame, guilt, and emotional instability you felt, and ones that Zen himself was personally familiar with.

It was why the actor ran away from home in the first place, but you were different. As far as Zen knew, you stuck through it, apparently. That in of itself was its own way of strength and courage, but it still pained the young man to think that you had to endure such a thing for so long. It would explain that look of loneliness he would sometimes catch a glimpse of. It would explain the clinging to him towards certain situations and avoidance of conversation towards certain subjects.

Zen’s eyes flicker over to your slumbering form. There was no doubt that it took a lot of courage for you to explain all of this. Even if you didn’t tell him verbally, Zen still feels relieved and glad that you were able to at least tell him through written words. The young man places the letter back onto the table before walking over to you. He doesn’t want to wake you up to discuss the contents of your letter so suddenly when you’re caught off guard, so instead, the young man carefully picks you up and carries you over to the bedroom where you would be more comfortable.

You must have been on the edge of consciousness and sleep because the moment Zen sets you down on the bed, your eyelids slowly flutter open. The actor flashes you an apologetic look for waking you up, and you return it with a lazy smile. You lift up a hand to take some of Zen’s hair between your fingers, finding comfort in how soft they feel, and Zen dips his head down to kiss the tip of your nose.

“Welcome back,” you greet him, still slightly disorientated from your nap, and Zen takes his spot beside you on the bed before encasing you in his arms.

“Did you sleep well?” Zen asks as he traces lazy shapes on your back.

You answer with a small hum. “I had a weird dream that you were a unicorn and galloping on a rainbow.”

Hearing that, Zen can’t help but snort in response at the imagery. He chuckles lowly to himself, the sound making you smile. You shift around a bit and roll yourself to lie down on top of the actor who only gazes up at you with a gentle expression. His hands move to cup your cheeks, and he pulls you down for a kiss. Zen breaks away for only a moment before kissing you again and again, each new kiss becoming longer and deeper than the last.

You pull away from the young man’s lips, and your fingers curl to grip onto Zen’s shirt. Slowly, you bring yourself to ask, “Did you…read my letter?”

There’s a sense of fear in your voice, but the smile on Zen’s features never leaves. He nods, and you bury your face into his chest. “Do you want to talk about it now or later?” Zen gives you the choice, and you take a moment to think about it.

“…Later,” you respond after a pause, and the young man nods once more in understanding before kissing you on the top of your head.

“I’ll wait until you’re ready,” Zen tells you, pulling you closer against him. “No matter how long or short it will take.”

You mumble out a muffled word of thanks, your heart swelling from the actor’s patience and consideration. It’s something you’re not quite used to receiving from others, but it’s welcome all the same.


	12. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Completion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff | Zen finally meets his soul mate; they’re completely different from what he expected.**  
>  **NOTE:** Fantasy!AU: Faeries | Soul Mate!AU

Everybody who was born on this earth possessed a strange mark on their left wrist: a phase of the moon. They say that there is somebody out there in the world who possesses the other half of your mark—your soulmate—and once the two of you touch, the marks will glow and change to that of a complete full moon.

Zen was confused; he already had the mark of a full moon on his wrist. Did that mean that he already found his soulmate? His other half, and that he just missed them? Or did it mean that he was his own soulmate? It wasn’t that farfetched and uncommon, and though the idea amused him, he couldn’t deny the aching need for love and attention from someone else. The actor put a lot of focus into his work, but even so, he still wanted to know what it was like to be his other half. To feel like a whole.

It was late at night when the young man finished up with rehearsals. He had ended up sticking around a bit, not yet ready to go back to his cold and lonely apartment. The actor walked slowly, burying his hands in his pockets while idly kicking a pebble down the street. The night was dimly lit with the light of the full moon hanging overhead in the sky. The same full moon as his mark. The same full moon as those who were complete, but Zen felt empty.

Breathing out a reluctant sigh of defeat, the young man continued on his way back home, trudging along as his heart ached with longing. The loneliness always seemed to become much more painful whenever there was a full moon. Sometimes, Zen would joke to himself that it was because he was a werewolf, but he knew himself better than anyone. He couldn’t lie to himself, no matter how hard he tried.

Zen decided to take a small detour from his usual route. The young man allowed his feet to take him wherever they wanted, not really paying attention to where he was going. Eventually, Zen found himself at a small creek. It was a beautiful sight, the greenery almost giving off an ethereal glow; the young man couldn’t believe his eyes.

There were… _things_ , floating around and glowing. Zen almost thought of them as fireflies, but that wasn’t it. They were something else, but the actor couldn’t figure out what. They seemed almost…otherworldly.

Just then, the actor could hear light laughter sounding in his ears, the voice almost child-like and mischievous. Zen spun on his heel, but he was greeted with nothing but air. The laughter continued to surround him, carried by the wind. Usually, the actor would have found himself terrified with such a situation, but oddly enough, he felt…safe. He didn’t think that whoever or whatever these voices belonged to wouldn’t harm him.

Suddenly, there was a strong gust of wind that sent Zen’s hair flying all around him. His hands immediately shot out of his pocket to tame the long locks, and then everything stopped. A stillness passed over the creek, the wind gone and air eerily quiet. The laughing voices had hushed, and the atmosphere seemed to shift somehow.

Zen took a step back at the abrupt change, ready to turn on his heel to leave when several voices started to chime in the small breeze that started to pick up again. Whispered voices speaking amongst one another with a hopeful tinge.

_“He possesses the full mark.”_

_“Perhaps he is the one.”_

_“And perhaps not. Why bring our princess further grief by giving her hope if it is nothing but false in the end?”_

_“The possibility still exists. She wanes with each cycle. It is worth a try.”_

__“…”_ _

__“ **Come**.”_ _

The voice abruptly directs itself towards Zen, catching him off guard. Following the voice’s command, all the glowing “things” form a straight line. It’s an entrancing sight, and Zen finds himself completely captivated. His eyelids slowly start to become heavy, and when the glowing line moves forward, Zen is tempted to take one step towards it.

He follows the trail without much thought, his mind in a blissful haze. It feels as though he would be promised something if he follows these things, and he can’t find the strength to resist. The voices continue to encourage him, urging him to keep moving.

__“ **Our princess is waiting**.”_ _

__“ **She will be so happy if you are the one**.”_ _

__“ **Perhaps you will be happy too**.”_ _

__“ **Maybe you will finally be complete**.”_ _

“Complete…” Zen repeats, finding the word to feel pleasant on his tongue.

The actor’s feet drags into the water; he isn’t too sure when that happened, but he doesn’t resist whatever hold he was currently in. The moon is reflected on the rippling surface of the water, and Zen can’t look away. He stares at it intently, finding the water’s surface to move closer and closer to his face before he is completely submerged.

Drowning, drowning. Zen is drowning, but it isn’t suffocating. His chest feels so light, his vision fading as he sinks further and further down in the deep blue.

When the young man’s eyes flutter open, he finds himself to be lying in the middle of a bed of flowers. He slowly sits up, pressing a hand to his head as he tries to remember what happened and how he got here…wherever “here” was, exactly. Crimson eyes glance around, trying to get an understanding of the surroundings.

It looked to be in the middle of a lush forest, the greenery vibrant and full of life. The open air felt so clean and light, and every time Zen breathed, it felt as though he was being cleansed. The young man stands up and sees a small trail. Seeing as he had no other idea on where to go, Zen starts to head down the trail.

Following the trail, the actor delves deeper into the forest. There was something about this place that made his heart leap in anticipation. It feels as though this was where Zen was _supposed_ to be. Like this place was waiting for him. Like _he_ was waiting for this place.

The actor is broken out of his thoughts when he hears the familiar voices from in the creek lingering in the air. They sound distant yet close, and so Zen decides to follow them. The volume increases with each step he takes, signalling that Zen is getting closer to the source. He comes across a curtain of vines, the voices coming from just behind it.

Not knowing why, Zen takes a deep breath to calm his nerves and excitement. He draws the vines back, and he’s greeted by the sight of a gorgeous young woman kneeling amongst the grass, head and arms resting on a tree stump. Delicate-looking wings protrude from her back, giving lazy flaps which sends leaves to dance with a gentle breeze.

Zen is mesmerized, unknowingly taking one step closer to get a better look and accidentally stepping on a twig. The snapping sound breaks you away from your thoughts, and your head shoots up, looking at the male before you with curiosity and wonder.

“Um, hello…” Zen awkwardly greets you with a nervous laugh. “I’m Zen.”

You stare at the newcomer warily before returning his introduction with your own name, standing up from your position and dusting yourself off as you give your wings one final flap. Zen nods, repeating your name in a whisper to get a feel for it, finding heat to rise to his cheeks when he does. “Are you…an angel?”

“Angel?” You repeat in surprise at the male’s impression of you before bursting into a fit of giggles. “No, not at all. I’m what you humans call a faerie.”

“A faerie…” Zen breathes out. “You’re beautiful.”

You’re taken aback by the blurted out compliment, and you bow your head, embarrassment flooding your cheeks. “How did you get here?” You try to change the subject.

“I’m not sure…” the actor responds. “I was at a creek, and I followed some voices, and…well, now I’m here.”

“Oh, I see…it must have been a full moon then,” you answer wistfully, tilting your head back to gaze at the sky. Sensing the young man’s confusion, you explain, “The line that separates the realms of the supernatural and humanity weakens with the full moon. My children must have guided you through one of the doors for you to enter this realm.”

“Children? Door…?”

You giggle at the male’s perplexed expression. “Those voices you heard. They most probably belonged to my children—the ones who serve me. They must have guided you here for a reason. Tell me, Zen, what is your reason for being here?”

Zen’s heart skips a beat when you say his name, and he scrambles to answer, “I-I’m not too sure, exactly. I just…felt…‘lonely’, I guess…?”

“Lonely… I see,” you respond idly, staring down at your hands that seem to flicker in transparency. “I can understand that. I’m lonely too…waiting.” Your eyes stare faraway, your fingers gingerly rubbing your inner wrist.

“What do you mean…?”

A sad smile crawls onto your lips. You don’t know why you continue talking, but you do. “I’m waiting. For my ‘other half’.”

Zen seems to freeze at your words. Taking his silence as your cue to continue, you try to explain to the best of your abilities, wondering just how much information a mortal like him can hold. “Long ago, there was a faerie who was blessed by the moon spirit. She fell in love with one of the first humans to ever exist, but at some point, they were separated. They promised to find each other again—their other half.”

“The moon marking…” Zen realizes. His eyes widen with surprise, not having known that such a thing dated back so long ago and had such a magical root to it.

“Is it the same for you humans?” You ask, not having expected a mortal to be aware of the tradition amongst your kin.

The young man nods, stretching out his hand to show you his mark of the full moon on his inner wrist. “They say once you touch your soulmate who possesses the other half of your mark, it will glow with the mark changing to that of a full moon, but as you can see with mine… Well, maybe I just don’t have one.”

“I’m sure they exist somewhere. You just haven’t found them yet,” you attempt to cheer up the male, your heart clenching at his defeated expression. “…I should go. There are things I must tend to.”

Not quite understanding the strange feelings in your chest, you swiftly turn on your heel to leave, almost afraid. In your haste, you trip over your own feet. You brace yourself for the impact, but it never comes. You feel a warm hand clasp around your wrist, effectively stopping your fall. A faint glow shines from both your inner wrist and Zen’s, surprising the both of you.

You turn to look at Zen, your eyes wide with wonder. Slowly, the actor lets go, and you both glance down towards your marks. For Zen, it’s still the same mark of a full moon, but it seems different somehow. He can’t quite explain it, but there is one thing he’s certain of: he’s finally _found_ you.


	13. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff | Zen decides to confess to you the only way he knows how as a malak.**  
>  **NOTE:** Cross-over(-ish) with Tales of Berseria

Humans are horrible beings who possess malevolence which are harmful to the malakhim. That is just the way the world works. That’s why so many of the malakhim tend to avoid humans, but Zen was different. Zen found humans fascinating and wished to make friends with them, admiring their determination and strong will; however, those who possessed a high enough resonance to be able to perceive malakhim were far and few in between. It was lonely, Zen had to admit. No matter where he went, and no matter who he tried to talk to, he had never been able to meet a single human who could see him. …Except for you.

The first time you met Zen, you were still just a child. You were obediently waiting for your parents to finish their shopping when you first saw Zen. You couldn’t help but stare in awe and wonder, never before having seen someone so ethereal and beautiful in your life. The way his silvery white hair shone with the sun caught your interest, and you merely stared.

You were one of the few who possessed such a high resonance; though when you found out that nobody else could see these other beings who lived amongst the humans, you opted to stay quiet about it. As a child, you just wanted to live a simple and carefree life. You knew that staring was considered rude, and staring at a malak that others couldn’t see often caused you lots of unnecessary trouble. It’s why you usually ignored the malakhim, but this one was different. You couldn’t tear your eyes away no matter what.

Zen was merely lingering and strolling about when he sensed your gaze, and he turned his head to look at you. You jumped and immediately averted your eyes, but the malak was certain that he made eye contact with you. Excited, the malak made his way over to you, and you tensed.

“Can you see me?” Zen asked gently, a hint of hopefulness in his voice as he crouched down to your level.

While still remaining to keep your gaze away, you slowly nodded your head, trying to make it seem discreet, or at the very least natural enough so that others wouldn’t find it strange as to why a child was just nodding at air. Zen’s eyes lit up instantly, and he unreservedly took your little hands in his, prompting you to look at him. He looked absolutely overjoyed that you couldn’t bear to pretend that you couldn’t see him, afraid that by doing so might hurt his feelings.

“This is my first time meeting and talking to a human like this!” The malak beamed. “I’m Zen! What’s your name, cutie?”

You warily introduced yourself, uncertain as to what the consequences of interacting with a malak might be in the future, and Zen repeated your name to get a feel for it before squeezing your hands from excitement. What he asked you next caught you by complete surprise. “Will you be my friend?”

* * *

In all honesty, you’ve never had a friend like Zen before. All the malakhim you saw minded their own business, and so you minded your own. You weren’t too much of a social person, so there weren’t that many people you could call friends either, but Zen was different. He was kind and sweet, and it was always a pleasure to have him around. He kept you company and comforted you when nobody else could or would. Invisible to others, he always held your hand whenever you felt nervous or scared to reassure you, silently reminding you that you weren’t alone.

Years passed by, and your friendship with Zen only grew more and more. You grew too; you got taller, and your body became more developed. In no time at all (to Zen, at least), you had grown to be a very beautiful young woman, and that’s when Zen started to realize the changes in what he felt for you.

He found himself staring at you more or trying to find an excuse to hold your hand or hug you. His heart would race whenever he was with you, and he would feel incredibly lonely if he was far away from you. Zen wasn’t a fool. He knew very well what this all meant, but he was terrified. A malak and a human together? Just the fact that the two of you were even friends was insane enough, but to even consider a romantic relationship was…

Exciting.

Malak or human, just the thought of being in a relationship with you was exciting to the male. But…he wasn’t sure how it would work out. _If_ it could work out. After all, even if you were able to see and interact with Zen, the other people in your life couldn’t see him. Zen had no doubts about the judgemental looks you would receive from people if you told them that you were in a relationship with a malak, but even so, Zen still wanted to let you know just how special you are to him.

Zen mulled over countless ideas, unable to find the words that could properly convey the depth of his love for you. …No, wait. There _was_ something. A name, but it wasn’t just _any_ name. It was his _true_ name. Malakhim were protective towards their true names, guarding it and only telling it towards people they had complete trust in, asides from their vessels. Their true names were special, and Zen wanted to share it with you.

“What’s wrong, Zen?” You ask the male as you tilt your head to the side, curiosity hiding behind your eyes. He had just randomly taken your hand and led you to a secluded area, much to your confusion. You can feel the slight tremble of his grip, and you can’t help but become concerned.

Zen takes a deep breath as he properly faces you, taking both of your hands in his. He looks straight into your eyes and speaks. “There’s…something I want to tell you.” You nod quietly, urging for him to continue. “My…true name. I want to tell you my true name.”

Your eyes widen by a fraction. You know just how important a malak’s true name was to them, so to have Zen willingly tell you, you couldn’t help but feel flattered. A warm blush creeps up onto your features as you unknowingly give Zen’s hands a small squeeze, and you nod once more to tell him that you were listening.

Zen hesitates for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip. He then takes one tentative step closer towards you and leans down enough so that his lips were near your ear. The male’s breath tickles you, and it sends small shivers down your spine. Zen whispers his name into your ear before leaning back, his face several deep shades of red.

“Hyun Ryu…” you repeat Zen’s true name to yourself, and the malak bows his head, allowing his hair to hide the large blush and wide grin on his lips. He nods, confirming that was how you properly pronounced it, and you beam in response. Without warning, you lunge yourself towards the male, wrapping your arms around his figure as your shoulders shake with joyous laughter. That’s how Zen knew that his feelings reached you.


	14. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Expectations VS Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff/Slice-of-Life | You and Zen always somehow manage to surprise each other, even after all this time.**

Usually, whenever people compare expectations and reality, the reality severely pales to the expectations, but with Zen, things were different. He almost always far exceeded your expectations, especially when it came to romantic endeavours. You still remember that one Valentine’s Day when the actor had gone all out with his surprise gift. You also remember that one Christmas when the young man arrived at the drive venue on his motorcycle, having dropped everything just so that he can see you and spend time with you, no matter how short or long the time.

Zen is so amazingly sweet towards you, you swear you can get cavities from just the way he looks at you: head tilted to the side, the corners of his lips curled into a loving smile, and his eyes full of warmth as he look _only_ at you and nothing or no one else. You are the only one in his eyes—his _heart_ —just like he’s the only one for you.

Sure enough, just like all other couples, you both have your differences and arguments. Sometimes they even escalate to shouting matches, but even so, everything all works out in the end because the pair of you learn and grow from each other, both as a couple and as individuals. Every resolved argument, no matter how small or large, strengthened the bond you and Zen have together.

Every smile, laugh, touch, tears… All of them mean so much to you. Never once before did you believe that you would fall for someone so hard yet so true. You didn’t even think it was possible for you to feel all the things you felt for the young man. The way your heart clenches in that painfully sweet way, or the way your cheeks start to hurt from all the smiling. The dizzying sensations when he kisses you, or the fluttering butterflies in your stomach when he holds you close. The burning desire in your gut when he touches you in all the right ways, or the electric tingles when he whispers the things that _only you_ do to him.

You love him, and he loves you.

Before you came into his life, Zen was only Zen, a musical actor struggling to make his mark on the world. It was all he ever really thought or cared about until he met you, and somehow, that lonely ache in his heart that he once so desperately tried to subdue burst forth with each passing day the only way to interact with you was via the messenger.

As embarrassing as it is for the actor to admit, he was afraid. He was afraid of falling in love _with you_. You were amazing and kind, supporting him so much that he truly thought you were too good for him. Even now, there are still times when he doubts himself when with you. You bring out both the best and worst of him, and there are times when words of the past haunt him.

The young man has shown you so many of his bad and weak sides, and just when he thinks you’ve finally had enough of him, you would hold him in your arms and accept him. Love him even with all his faults, and Zen falls in love with you over and over again, his vision overwhelmed with just how much he wants— _needs_ —you to be by his side until the very end.

You are his support, just as he is yours. You both always somehow manage to overexceed the other’s expectation.

The day of your anniversary is quickly approaching. It’s almost hard to believe that it would be three whole years since you and Zen first started dating. So many things have happened since then. He’s risen in popularity and his career while you’ve taken on the job of being his manager. You were a bit hesitant at first, wondering if it would be okay to mix personal and professional life, but after giving it a try, it turns out to be going rather well.

Though Zen had once voiced his concerns and guilt of making you wait before marrying you, wanting to obtain the approval of his parents first, you didn’t mind it all that much. As long as you were by the actor’s side, it was okay. You were willing to wait for eternity because you know that you and Zen are already bound to each other for life. You didn’t need a grand ceremony or official papers to prove it.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when arms snake around your waist, your back making contact with a broad chest. Familiar strands of white flash in the corner of your eyes, a warm cheek pressing against and nuzzling yours. Your eyelids flutter close, a small giggle bubbling out of your chest from the ticklish sensations.

“Mm, babe…” A familiar smooth voice hums near your ear. “What are you thinking about?”

“You’re a smart boy; I’m sure you can figure it out,” you reply coyly, a smirk playing on your lips, and Zen squeezes you tight against him as punishment for your teasing.

The young man eventually relaxes his hold, his hands lazily draped around your figure and rests his chin atop your shoulder. His eyes peer at the calendar on the wall, the same one you had been staring at for quite a while. An adoring smile creeps onto his lips when he sees the familiar date.

“I hope you’re prepared for what I have planned for you,” Zen breathes out, the excitement evident in his voice.

You exhale a small laugh, turning yourself around in the loose embrace. Your arms move up to hang off of the actor’s shoulders as amusement dances on your features. “That’s my line,” you answer with your entire face lit up.

Without another word, you lean forward and give Zen a quick kiss. Far too quick for his liking, seeing as he dips his head down to pursue your lips once more and stealing your breath away. “I look forward to it,” he quips after breaking away for a small pause before going back to molding his warm lips with yours.


	15. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Flower Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff| Zen the Knight enters the forbidden forest in search of a way to save his princess. While there, he encounters a beautiful young maiden…**  
>  **NOTE:** Fantasy!AU: Zen the Knight

Once upon a time, there existed a forbidden forest on the edge of a kingdom. Legends say that the flowers in that forest possessed powerful healing capabilities that could even bring the dead back to life. There were many humans who wanted to keep this power for themselves. They trampled upon and destroyed the forest which infuriated the Guardian of the Forest. The forest which was once so peaceful came to life and swallowed all the greedy humans whole in a single night. Nowadays, they say that those who foolishly enter the forest will meet the very same fate and are never to be seen again.

But such legends did not scare nor deter Zen, a loyal knight to the princess of the kingdom. The princess was dying, and there existed no medicine that could save her. The forest was Zen’s only choice. For his princess. His princess whom he was indebted to and who gave him a home when his parents threw him away.

When Zen first entered the forest, he didn’t know what he was expecting, but he surely wasn’t expecting such a beautiful sight before him. The edge of the forest looked so menacing from the outside, but upon stepping foot inside, the entire scenery changed, almost as though there was a magical barrier that safely hid and protected the beauty inside. The forest was a vibrant green that seemed to have an ethereal glow. It was devoid of animals, but the colourful assortment of flowers seemed to make up for it.

“Who are you?”

The voice came so suddenly that Zen’s first instinct was to draw his sword and point it at the newcomer but froze when he came face-to-face with a beautiful young maiden clad in a long dress that shimmered in the sunlight. You stared down at the sword at your neck, unfazed, before slowly bringing your attention back towards the young man.

“Who are you?” you repeated your question.

Zen hesitated for a moment before finally sheathing his sword. He placed a hand over his heart and bowed in greeting. “My name is Zen. I’m a knight in the kingdom near this forest. May I ask for your name?”

“You may not,” you answered firmly, your gaze steady as you continued to eye the young man before you. “What are you doing in my forest?”

The knight cocked his head, confused at your choice of words before it dawned on him. “Could it be that you're—” Zen wasn’t given the chance to finish his sentence, finding his arms and legs to suddenly be ensnared by all sorts of shrubbery.

“Are you here to steal from me too…?” The question that leaves your lips is quiet, and there’s a certain sadness behind it. “Are you going to hurt me and my friends too? Are you…going to leave me all alone too once you get what you came here for?”

Zen doesn’t know how to respond to your questions, so he answers with his own. “Are you the Guardian of the Forest?”

You lock gazes with the young man, and there’s something in his eyes that are different from all the humans who came before him. His eyes carry kindness, patience, and a sense of determination of…something. You bite your lower lip and decide to introduce yourself. “…Yes.”

“Lady Guardian,” Zen starts, and you can’t help but scrunch your face from being called such a weird title. “A friend of mine is dying, and I want to save her. Please, will you help me save her? I promise, I won’t take more than necessary, and I won’t ruin any of the plants here.”

Your eyes search the knight’s face for any hint of lies like the others, and you bring your face closer to his. He keeps your gaze, determined, and you don’t know why, but your heart starts to race the longer you stare into his smoldering eyes. You have no reason to give this man what he wants, but for some reason, you do so anyways.

Zen becomes free from the ensnarement, and you offer him a single white rose. “Here.”

The knight graciously accepts the rose, his eyes lighting up which makes your cheeks flush. Almost as though forgetting just who exactly you were, he unreservedly takes your hand in his and bends forward to kiss your fingers. “Thank you!”

The next day, Zen enters the forest once again, and your first thought is that he lied to you and came back for more of those healing flowers, but instead, he holds out a red rose for you to take, and you stare at it in confusion. Zen can’t help but laugh at your confusion, the sound ringing pleasantly in your ears, and goes to explain, “In exchange for the white rose you gave me and helping me save my friend.”

“Oh…” you reply lameley as you accept the rose, your fingers brushing with his. “That’s…awfully sweet of you.” Zen only beams in response, and he turns to leave, but you stop him. “W-Wait!”

Zen stops in his tracks and turns to look back at you, confused. You fumble around for an excuse as to why you called out to him before your eyes light up with an idea. You run up towards the knight and hold out a lilac for him to take. “F-For keeping true to your promise.”

The young man stares at the flower before a gentle smile spreads across his features, and he graciously accepts it. To your surprise, Zen came back the next day and offered you a red chrysanthemum. “For making me smile.”

After that, somehow, it became a natural occurrence of Zen coming back to the forest every day and exchanging flowers for all sorts of reasons.

Yellow acacias. “For keeping me company.”

Primroses. “For listening to my thoughts.”

Tulips. “For always being here for me.”

Honeysuckles. “For sharing your laughter with me.”

Violets. “For believing in me.”

Forget-me-nots—

Zen tucks the small flower behind your ear before gently placing his hand atop your cheek. He strokes the expanse of skin with the pad of his thumb and gently guides your face to look up at him, holding an expression that you’ve never seen before.

“Because I love you.”


	16. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Four Seasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff/Romance/Angst | It was a short-lived romance, but those four seasons held such fond memories.**

**You first met him in Spring.**

Nowadays, people know him as Zen, but you knew him from before he picked up that name. You met him when his name was still Hyun, and he was still nothing more than a ragged runaway struggling to get by.

The rain was heavy when you first met him. The roads were dangerous, but you figured nothing bad would happen. You were walking back home after visiting a friend when a speeding car had slid off the road and was heading straight for you on the sidewalk. Like a deer in headlights, your entire mind shut down, and you couldn’t bring yourself to move away from the oncoming danger.

Suddenly, you were pushed to the side, your body making contact with the rough concrete as another body crashed on top of you and sending your umbrella flying in the air. You gasped for air, your entire figure trembling as fiery red eyes stared down at you with concern. “Are you okay?” The young man who saved you asked, his own voice wavering as well.

Unable to get the words out of your throat, you gave a dazed nod. Now that you were were able to get over your initial shock and inspect the male’s features better, you realized just how handsome he was. The young man got off of you and stood up, brushing himself off before offering you his hand.

“Thank you, um…” you trailed off, not knowing what to call your saviour.

“Hyun,” he introduced himself with a smile. “My name’s Hyun.”

**You confessed to him in Summer.**

After a series of events and circumstances from that incident, you and Hyun had both ended up spending lots of time together and inevitably became friends. While the aspiring actor seemed rough around the edges, after getting to know him more, you learned that he was quite the gentleman. He charmed men and women alike with his good looks and silver tongue, and you too fell victim to his magic.

You had reason to believe that perhaps Hyun developed the same kind of feelings for you that you did for him, but he never really said anything about it or brought it up. It’s been quite a while since the two of you had become acquainted, and you could see with the days that passed by with you taking no action, Hyun was that much closer to possibly being stolen away from someone whom you believed deserved him better than you. But you loved Hyun with all your heart, and you would rather take your chances than let the opportunity slip away.

Hyun had invited you to go out one day, and you were more than eager to accept. You ended up dolling yourself up that day, having decided to confess to the aspiring actor. Wearing your favourite outfit that best complimented your features, you were ready to finally tell Hyun how you felt.

The two of you were strolling along in the park, your hands brushing against one another every now and then, and every time it did, it sent sparks to shoot up along your arm. How badly you just wanted to take the young man’s hand into your own, but you weren’t sure if it would be appropriate.

Hyun and you walked in a comfortable silence, enjoying the small summer breeze that passed by every now and then, the laughter of children ringing in the open air without a care in the world. Along the way, you spotted a couple walking by, the two of them lost in their own world and giggling to themselves. You couldn’t help but look at them longingly as they passed by you, and you were almost tempted to look back just to continue watching them.

From beside you, Hyun stole a glance your way and saw the look in your eyes. Mustering up as much courage as he could, he wiped the sweat off of his palms onto his jeans before finally took your hand in his, catching you by surprise. You spun your head towards him, your unasked question lingering on your features, but Hyun had nothing to say and forced himself to keep staring forward, averting his gaze.

Thinking that perhaps he made the wrong move, the aspiring actor was about to slip his hand away, but you squeezed it tight. You stopped walking for a second and stared at the ground. “Hyun, there’s…something, I want to tell you.”

Your entire demeanour changed, and Hyun felt apprehensive as to what this could possibly about. Giving your hand a reassuring squeeze, he turned to properly face you and nodded, prompting you to go on.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you tried to get your voice to work, but to have Hyun solely focused on you and staring at you so intently made you nervous, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to look up at him. Seconds ticked by, and the aspiring actor was growing worried. His free hand reached up to stroke your cheek, the touch sending warmth throughout your body that the summer heat could never rival.

“Babe…” Hyun gently called you by his usual term of endearment for you, making your heart jump in your chest. “What’s wrong?”

Steeling yourself, you swiftly lifted your head to look up at the aspiring actor, prompting his eyes to widen at your determined expression. “I love you!” You practically shouted to his face before realizing how loud you were, and embarrassment crawled to your cheek as you tried not to look away.

Hyun’s face lit up instantly, and before you knew it, you were trapped within the young man’s arms. “H-Hyun?!” You squeaked, not used to being this close with the male.

Hyun’s soft laughter sounded in your ears as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. “I’m so happy…” he murmured against your skin.

“Um, d-does that mean you like me too?” You have to ask just to make sure, prompting the aspiring actor to continue laughing. He pulled away from you just enough to look at your face, a wide and idiotic grin spread across his flushed cheeks.

“Yes!” Hyun answered with complete passion, his hold around you increasing the slightest bit. “I love you too! I really, _really_ love you!”

**You made love with him in Autumn.**

You weren’t too sure what led to it in the first place. The air was starting to grow more chilly, and it may or may not have slipped your mind to put on more layers before you went out to visit the aspiring actor’s apartment. You shivered on the couch in the living room, trying to snuggle up as close to Hyun as you possibly can while the two of you watched a movie together.

“Cold, princess?” Hyun asked, but the tone he held in his voice suggested he already knew the answer, his arms winding around your torso.

You nodded your head, shivering for a different reason when you felt Hyun’s lips on your ear. The young man made an audible smacking sound, and you figured you had enough of the movie for now. You’re not exactly sure what came over the two of you, but what started out as mischievous teasing became something much more heated that led to Hyun carrying you to his room and placing you down on his bed.

Hands were roaming everywhere, clothes thrown and dispersed throughout the room. It was nerve-wrecking, you had to admit, but you weren’t afraid. You loved and trusted Hyun, and you were more than willing to give yourself to him, just as he was willing to give himself to you.

The sensations were almost overwhelming, Hyun touching you in the most intimate ways and places. You both surrounded each other with love and passion, molding your bodies together in a blissful haze of moans and sighs as sweet promises and declations fell from kiss-swollen lips.

You had lost track of time, but the feeling of being wrapped around Hyun lingered even after everything was said and done, your lover lying down on the bed beside you still naked as his fingers combed through your hair, all the while gazing at you with cheerful albeit tired eyes and humming a pleasant tune.

“Stay with me,” Hyun whispered, a slight pleading in his voice, afraid of losing the first and only good thing that’s happened in his life ever since he ran away.

You smiled reassuringly, shifting around a bit to seal your promise with a kiss. “Forever and always.”

**You walked away from him in Winter.**

“Let me go,” Hyun spoke coldly, his tone just as sharp as the wind that blew around the pair of you, but you refused to give in.

“Why?” You asked. You needed to know. “Why are you breaking up with me?”

The actor grew quiet. …Yes, he was no longer just aspiring to be an actor: he already was one, even if just starting out. He was still young, after all, but Hyun believed that the people who hired him would be able to help him grow. There was just one problem: they wanted the young man to maintain an image of being single.

There was something about being famous and single at the same time that attracted fans. Perhaps it was so that they could fantasize about being together with them or believing they had a chance, but by doing that, it dragged Hyun’s own dream of being with you down to the ground and through the dirt. He had to do it. It was always his dream to be an actor, and now he had the chance.

“I have to do this,” Hyun answered vaguely, but you saw in his eyes his reason for leaving you, and it broke your heart.

“…Fine. I thought that it would be possible for us to go after our dreams _together_ , but if you want to choose your job on your own and leave me, then go ahead,” you spat, your emotions running all over the place that caused you to speak so harshly and without thinking. “Don’t _ever_ try to contact me again.”

You clenched your hands into fists, breathing heavily before turning on your heel, kicking at the snow in the process. Hyun watched as you left, never once looking back. His heart clenched with each step you took, and he resisted the urge to run after you. To pull you back into his arms and keep you there forever like you promised, but he had to let you go. For his career. For his dream.

**He saw you again in Spring.**

Zen had started to climb up in the industry. While his looks did help, it was his talent that really got him where he was. Months have passed since that heartwrenching day, and there wasn’t a single day that passed by that Zen didn’t regret his decision. Keeping true to your last wish before you left, the actor never once tried to contact you, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t miss you.

It was a rainy day, similar to when he first met you. He was returning home after having bought some groceries which mostly consisted of just beer and water when he saw a familiar face from the corner of his eyes.

Across the street, you were standing at the bus station, arms wrapped around another man’s as the two of you shared an umbrella and were lost in your own worlds. You giggled at whatever it was the young man was telling you, and you snuggled up closer to him which made Zen’s heart drop to his stomach. That was him and you once. That could have been him now.

Maybe he should have never chosen his career over his love. Next time—if there ever will be a next time—Zen would choose his love over his career so that he wouldn’t have to experience this heartache ever again.

**He missed your hand in his in Summer.**

**He missed your warmth and passion in Autumn.**

**He missed your time together in Winter.**

**He missed you.**


	17. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Good Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Hurt/Comfort | Sometimes, all you needed was just a reminder.**

It’s an unpleasant feeling that settles deep into the pit of your stomach when things just don’t turn out the way you wanted them to turn out. Frustration and sadness meld together, clawing viciously at the back of your mind as you will yourself not to cry. You had no reason to cry, you tried to tell yourself. These sorts of things happen all the time to everyone, but the desperation to _try harder_ tugs at your mind.

You need to try harder. To improve yourself. To prove to everyone that you could do this because _you had nothing else_. You weren’t the most attractive person nor were you exceptionally smart. You weren’t physically fit nor were you the most fun person to converse with. You were average. No, maybe even a bit below average except for maybe possessing one or two skills.

And it were those skills that you focused on. That you built upon with excruciating efforts and sacrificed health. It was what defined you—that was what you decided. Looking at Zen, you were reminded of just how mediocre you were compared to him. He had a multitude of skills and talents and excelled at them, not to mention his kind and charming personality.

Your stomach twisted into painful knots as the usual seeds of self-doubt grew within your chest once more. You needed to try _harder_. What you were doing right now wasn’t _good enough_. You needed to push yourself to the limit. You needed to keep on climbing if you wanted to survive. _Live_.

Compare yourself to others. They’re so much better than you, but you can prove them wrong. Or at least, that’s what you had hoped. No matter how hard you tried, it just left you feeling much more bitter and resentful whenever you couldn’t reach the goal you wanted to reach. It takes _time_ , people say? You’ve spent _years_ like this. Just how much longer were you supposed to stay stuck like this while everybody else seemed to be moving forward?

…No. You didn’t want this. You didn’t want to be left alone. It didn’t matter if you had to _crawl_ , just as long as you weren’t alone. But everybody else was just so much faster than you. Much _better_ than you. Even if you screamed, they were already too far ahead for your voice to reach, so you cried. Because what else could you do? You could do nothing. You had nothing. You _were_ nothing. Maybe it would be better if you just gave up—

Your eyes immediately snapped open, jumping slightly from surprise when you were greeted by worried red eyes. You slowly directed your gaze to the time, realizing that you must have accidentally fallen asleep on the couch while waiting for Zen to come home. You offered a weak smile to the actor, your thoughts still muddled. “Welcome back. How was it?”

“I got the role,” Zen answered simply, shrugging his shoulders. “But more importantly…” The young man reached a hand out, fingers gingerly wiping away stray tears on your cheeks. “You’re crying… Did something happen?”

“I’m fine. Congrats on getting the role!” You shook your head and tried to change the subject, but Zen cupped your cheeks, pure concern swirling in his eyes as he searched your face for something to help him figure out why you were upset.

“Babe, please…” Zen spoke softly, his voice cracking the slightest bit. “This isn’t the first time… You’ve been crying a lot lately. Don’t think I haven’t realized. …I-Is it my fault? Did I do something to upset you? I swear, whatever it is that I did, I—”

“It’s not your fault,” you cut in sharply. You didn’t want Zen to apologize and blame himself when he did absolutely nothing wrong.

The young man sighed in reluctant defeat. “Then what is it? Is it something you can’t tell me?”

You brought your gaze down, fingers picking at the fabric of your clothes. “It’s nothing, really. It’s a stupid reason anyways.”

You heard Zen softly call your name before placing a long and firm kiss on your forehead before looking into your eyes once more, his gaze determined and serious. “It’s something that’s upsetting you so much that it makes you cry in your sleep. I don’t think it’s a stupid reason at all, whatever it is. Please tell me… As your boyfriend, this concerns me too.”

The actor then became quiet, waiting for your response. He’s pushed and pressed the issue enough; if you still didn’t feel like sharing your worries, then he would have no choice but to back off for now and try again later. Insisting any further wouldn’t help out at all and might actually make matters worse instead, but he was still worried.

“I’m not good enough…” you whispered.

Zen seemed taken aback. “What?”

“I’m not good enough,” you repeated much louder, and suddenly, everything you’ve kept inside spilled out all at once without warning. “I don’t have anything going for me. Like, Jumin might seem emotionless at times, but he knows how to run a business well and has good judgement on people. Jaehee works hard and is good at whatever she does. Yoosung, if he puts his mind to it, can achieve great results. Seven might seem strange, but he’s good at technology and fixing things and being funny, and you—”

You paused, trying to catch your breath, and Zen patiently waited for you to continue, soothingly rubbing your shoulders to tell you that he was still listening. You nodded, choking back a sob. “And you… You’re attractive, talented, funny, kind, and just absolutely amazing, and I… I’m _nothing_. I can’t do anything right, I’m not good at anything, I don’t have anything going for me, I have an unpleasant personality—”

You were hyperventilating by now, struggling to catch your breath, and Zen tried to help ease your breathing back to normal. “It’s okay, babe. Deep breaths… Just take deep breaths, babe, and take your time.”

As soon as you were breathing normally again, you nodded; however, Zen gently cut you off before you could continue with your belittlement towards yourself. He carefully pulled you towards him, enveloping you in his comfort and warmth. “I always love getting compliments from you, but if it’s something that brings yourself down, then I don’t want to hear it,” the actor spoke carefully, his voice stern but laced with gentle concern.

You shook your head, stubborn and in denial, so Zen squeezed you closer against him. You buried your face against Zen’s chest, your muffled sobs filling the quiet room as the actor ran his hand along your back in an attempt to soothe you. “I’m not good enough… I will never be good enough. No matter how hard I try, I won’t ever be good enough…” You repeated the sentiment over and over again, and it was hard to discern as to whether you were trying to convince yourself or trying to confirm your words.

“That’s not true…” Zen whispered into your ear, his voice strained. It was so painful for him that you thought so little of yourself when in truth, you meant _everything_ to him. “That’s not true at all.”

The actor then carefully lifted you from the couch to bring the two of you to the bedroom. He went to set you down onto the bed first, but you refused to let go of him, clinging tightly onto his shirt, so instead, Zen sits down on the bed and holds you in his lap. He runs his fingers through your hair, knowing how you found the action comforting. He cooed soft words of his love for you in your ear, hoping to calm you down.

What you needed right now was a reminder that you were loved and not alone. Zen understood that if he tried to convince you otherwise about what you thought about yourself, you would just deflect his words, and it would only make matters worse. So the young man decided against it for now. He could always bring the topic up again at a better time when you weren’t overwhelmed with your emotions.

Zen moved around, and he placed you down to lie on the bed, the two of you not once letting go of each other, but the young man was considerate and careful enough to make sure he wasn’t crushing you with his weight. You still haven’t stopped crying, everything you’ve kept bottled up spilling out in huge waves. Your hands trembled as you tried to bring yourself to let go of Zen, convinced that you were acting clingy and childish.

To your surprise, the actor placed his hands over your own and allowed them to rest there. “You don’t need to let go of me. Hold me if you want to. …I’m not going anywhere.”

Just then, Zen’s phone rang, and keeping true to his word, he fished through his pocket for the device solely to turn it off before putting it back away. You nodded your head, and Zen allowed his hands to fall and rest upon the mattress on either side of you. In turn, you wrapped your arms around the young man’s neck, anchoring yourself to him as he dipped his head down to kiss away your tears.

“I’m not good enough…” you whimpered, your voice sounding so weak and defeated.

“You’re my everything,” Zen whispered against your skin, but the volume of his voice was a bit louder than your own. It wasn’t to try to counter your own words, but rather, it was a reminder. Something for you to consider and remember.

“I was never good enough, and I never will be,” you continued.

Zen moved his head to kiss away your tears on your other cheek. “You changed my life.”

“No matter how hard I try…” You started to trail off, your previous sadness slowly starting to melt away to peaceful comfort instead as Zen continued to brush his lips against your skin, one hand moving to wrap around your waist while the other moved to thread through your hair.

“You will always be somebody I’m thankful for.”

The young man’s words finally started to sink in, and your sobs have now quieted down to small, quivering exhales of breath. You tightened your grip around the actor and buried your face into the crook of his neck. “I love you…”

Zen hummed against your skin, relieved that you’ve calmed down now. He lifted his head so that his entire face was hovering over your own and revealed to you. Zen tilts his head to the side, a smile of pure admiration and reassurance playing on his lips before he reciprocated your feelings and leaned down to kiss your lips, one final reminder until the next time you would need it.


	18. Zen/Hyun Ryu | His Little Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff/Slice-of-Life | Zen is being an overprotective father.**

A large grin plays on your lips as you help your daughter into the small princess dress that you and Zen bought for her. There was no real reason or special occasion for it; the two of you had encountered the dress one day and thought that it would look lovely on your child. Upon buying the dress, it was then you realized that perhaps both you and Zen might end up spoiling your child too much, but imagining your daughter’s eyes light up chased your worries away. All in moderation, you would remind yourself later.

“You look beautiful, Ha-Yun,” you offer a sincere compliment to the little girl as you stand up, straightening out your clothes.

Ha-Yun turns around, craning her head back to peer up at you as she giggles in response from your words. She twirls around and around in front of the mirror, admiring her own appearance, and you can’t help but find amusement in her interest towards her own reflection. Getting dizzy yourself as you continue to watch the little girl, you place a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Let’s go show your dad how you look,” you suggest, and Ha-Yun offers an exaggerated nod.

You take Ha-Yun’s hand into your own and then open the door, heading out to the living room where Zen was waiting, his attention currently fixated on the script in front of him. The actor’s attention snaps up at the sound of you clearing your throat, and his eyes widen at the sight in front of him.

“Presenting the lovely Princess Ha-Yun,” you announce your daughter’s presence with flair, offering a low bow.

Ha-Yun points her nose high in the air, trying to emit an air of royalty which prompts Zen to cover his lips with the back of his hand, muffling his laughter. Zen walks up to the little girl and kneels down to her level.

“How do I look daddy?” Ha-Yun asks, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“You look gorgeous,” Zen answers truthfully before scooping his daughter up in his arms and nuzzling his cheek with hers as he stands to his full height.

Ha-Yun giggles at the ticklish sensation of Zen’s hair on her skin, and she squeals from the display of affection as she tries to push herself away in a half-hearted manner. This seems to only encourage Zen even more, and he squeezes the little girl even more against him.

The actor laughs alongside his daughter as he barely manages to speak out the words, “I’m so lucky to have the _cutest_ princess in the whole entire world!”

From the side, you watch on with a warm expression, your heart swelling with joy towards your family. You clear your throat to remind Zen of your presence, and his eyes flicker over to your form. “And just what am I then?” You ask, the corner of your lip twitching into a slight smirk.

“My _queen_ ,” Zen breathes out as he stops playing around with Ha-Yun for a moment to kiss you on the lips which you accept with a content hum.

“Daddy,” Ha-Yun starts, her voice coming out shy as she tugs on the actor’s hair, gathering his attention.

“What is it, my princess?” Zen coos, rubbing his nose with the little girl’s.

Ha-Yun hesitates for a brief moment before asking, “Do you think Min-Jun will think I look pretty like this…?”

Zen freezes at the question, and you bite your lip at his reaction, but a small laugh still manages to escape. “Who?” The actor asks.

“A boy in my class!” Ha-Yun chirps, completely oblivious to the inner turmoil raging inside Zen’s mind.

“Ha-Yun…” Zen speaks his daughter’s name with a grave tone that it causes the little girl’s eyebrows to shoot up. “There’s something I need to discuss with you about boys…”

Knowing full well where this was going, you decide to intervene, placing a hand on the actor’s arm. “Zen…”

Zen hears the tone in your voice, and he becomes defensive. The young man twists around while still holding Ha-Yun in his arms, the action both protective and possessive yet still endearing. Zen’s eyes widen, his expression full of desperation with his lips pursed into a defiant pout, and your daughter is left blinking in confusion at this change of events.

“She needs to _know_ ,” Zen whispers.

You breathe out a small sigh of defeat and shake your head, amusement playing on your features as you watch Zen walk away with Ha-Yun, her focus quite attentive to Zen’s warning. It looks like you might need to teach and warn him a few things yourself whenever it came to your daughter.


	19. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Just a Little

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff/Hurt/Comfort | You tell Zen that you have ADHD, and you’re nervous about it.**

You took deep breaths as you tried to mentally prepare yourself for what you were going to tell Zen. Now that the two of you were in a relationship, you figured that it was only natural that Zen knew everything about you, including your condition. You had kept on putting it off, or you kept on forgetting and getting distracted, but he needed to know. You _wanted_ him to know.

It wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, you understood that, but you still couldn’t help but feel troubled anyways. You didn’t think Zen would be one to leave you just because of that, but it was still a bit of a touchy subject for you. The pitiful or judgemental looks from others when they knew about you… You didn’t want Zen to look at you like that. You wanted him to accept you.

You sat on the couch and chewed on your bottom lip, your fingers curling into a small fist as you called for the actor’s attention. “Zen, c-can we talk…?”

The young man froze for a moment. A sense of apprehension filled his chest from the words that were usually spoken before a serious conversation. For a second, the actor thought that you wanted to break up with him, but when his gaze flickered away from the script he was reading and onto your expression with furrowed eyebrows, he nodded.

Zen momentarily placed his script away and sat up properly, giving you his full, undivided attention.

…Well now what? You didn’t think this far ahead. You were so focused on the idea of just trying to get yourself to bring up the topic that you didn’t know _how_ to bring it up.

Being met with silence, Zen took your trembling hands into his and offered you an encouraging smile. His voice was gentle and patient as he asked, “What is it?”

You continued biting onto your lower lip and shook your head, trying to will yourself to speak. You felt Zen squeeze your hands, and that was enough to help you free those words that were lodged in your throat.

“There’s…something I have to—no, _want_ to—tell you about myself,” you started before pausing and taking another deep breath. Slowly, you brought your gaze upwards towards the actor, your eyes wavering and glossy. “I-I have ADHD.”

Zen’s eyes widened by a fraction, unknowingly squeezing your hands from this new piece of information. He seemed to be taking a moment to process this before giving a small nod and encouraging for you to continue.

You gave an appreciative smile and started explaining to the actor everything that you went through and will most probably have to continue going through. The entire time, Zen remained quiet, nodding occasionally and squeezing your hands.

As soon as you were done, relief washed over you and showed in the form of tears trailing down your cheeks. Your shoulders that you weren’t even aware of being tense relaxed, and Zen pulled you in for a comforting hug.

“Thank you for telling me,” Zen whispered into your ear as he ran his fingers through your hair before giving you a quick kiss on the crown of your head.

You found yourself smiling against the actor’s chest, pride swelling up inside you that you were able to tell him. It might not have been much, but it meant a whole lot to both you and to Zen as the two of you lessened the gap in your relationship even just a bit more.


	20. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff/Slice-of-Life | You watch one of Zen’s performances where he has to kiss his fellow actress, and though you try not to, you still get jealous.**

You thought you were fine with the idea of watching your boyfriend kiss another woman  up on stage, but actually seeing it like this, you can’t help but feel rather…jealous. It disgusted you—not the kiss, no. While that kiss scene did leave you feeling jealous, you were more disgusted at the fact that you were feeling jealous in the first place. Zen was loyal and dedicated, both to his work and to you. You understood that Zen felt nothing for that woman, but your stomach still twisted and turned into unpleasant knots.

It really wasn’t your intention, but after the show, you ended up acting upon the unpleasant feelings in your chest. You weren’t as responsive to Zen’s touches, and you shied away whenever he tried to kiss you. You can tell that he was hurt, and all that did was help make the guilt within you grow.

As soon as the two of you arrived back at your shared apartment, you go and get changed to something more comfortable. Even though Zen wanted to ask why you were being like this, he figured that you must be tired from the day and decided to bring the topic up later when you were in a slightly better mood.

You were drinking a glass of water before heading off to bed when you felt strong arms wrap around your waist from behind. The embrace was loose enough so that if you wanted to leave it, you may do so, but the slight trembles from the actor’s arms made you stay in place. Zen buried his face in your hair and asked, “Did I do something wrong?”

It absolutely pained you that Zen’s first thought was that it was his fault. Hearing that all too familiar vulnerability in his voice knocked some sense back into you, and you shook your head. You placed the glass you were holding down on the counter and turned around in the embrace so that you could properly look at Zen ever since the end of his performance, and your breath caught in your throat at how glossy his eyes looked.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” you tried to reassure the actor, lifting a hand to stroke his cheek. Zen sighed and leaned his head closer to your touch, his eyes urging for you to continue. “I just…got really jealous when I saw you kiss that woman on stage. I know it was just acting and part of the show, but still, I…”

You trailed off and allowed the silence to speak for itself as you bowed your head, ashamed. Zen whispered your name, but you stubbornly kept your head low, so the actor cupped your chin and gently guided it so that you were looking at him once more. No words were exchanged, but the relieved expression on Zen’s face was more than enough.

The silence was replaced by your heartbeat ringing loudly in your ears as Zen slowly leaned his head down closer to yours, tilting his head to the side. Without even realizing it, you also tilted your head to the other side, your eyelids becoming heavier the more Zen closed the gap between you two.

The actor whispered something against your lips, but you weren’t able to catch it, and before you could ask for him to repeat it, Zen closed whatever remaining distance there was left and captured your lips into a gentle but firm kiss. You felt Zen pull you closer against him a little bit more, almost as though hesitant if you would be in the mood, and you reassured him by pressing your body flush against his and winding your arms around his neck.

When Zen pulled away, there was a small satisfied smile on his lips and kind of determined look in his eyes. “I love you,” he reaffirmed his feelings for you and placed several ticklish kisses against your skin. “No matter how many people I have to kiss on stage, you’re the only one I ever want to keep on kissing for eternity.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at how Zen’s lips tickled you with each kiss, and you tried to pull away but Zen only continued with his ministrations. You successfully left Zen’s embrace, and a challenging smile crept up onto his lips when he saw that you were no longer in a bad mood. A small shriek leaves you as you run around the small apartment, laughing as Zen chased you around. He easily caught you in his arms once more and started kissing your face again, smiling against you as you accepted each kiss with a laugh.


	21. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Let's Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Slice-of-Life | You play a VR game while waiting for Zen to come home.**

Playing a suspense VR game in the middle of the night may not have been your best idea, but you couldn’t help it. Zen was apparently dragged along for a drink with his director to celebrate a successful performance. You knew just how important his director was to him, and Zen did deserve a break for all the hard work he did, so you were more than understanding even before the actor kept on apologizing to you on the phone.

But it was starting to get late, and while you did trust Zen, you were starting to get bored. Your eyes happened to fall on the new VR game you’ve gotten, and since you had some time to kill, you might as well play it.

It was a simple enough game. You’re all alone in what’s presumed to be your player’s house with the lights closed, and you just explore. Nothing scary at all, or so you would think. Since it was VR, you wanted to be completely immersed and made sure to set the volume to max, but of course, the house was met with nothing but silence.

You moved your player around and explored the house, walking through different rooms and looking at different objects in the kitchen when you heard a shattering sound, causing you to jump. You immediately turned around, kind of expecting the hacker from the time you first met the RFA to be standing there in the game you were playing, but you were only met with the pixels of a broken wine glass.

"Strange…” you mused to yourself, wondering what could have made it fall.

But then you heard footsteps, and you froze. In your time playing the game, there hasn’t been any indication that there was a friendly NPC included in the house, so then it had to be something else, right? You tried to remind yourself that it was just a game, but you kept on hearing sounds coming from all around, so you kept on twisting and turning, trying to find the source of all those sounds but only coming up empty.

From the corner of your eyes with the hedset, you saw the curtains move, but that shouldn’t be happening because the last time you were inspecting the window, it had been left shut. You cursed underneath your breath as you slowly moved your player closer to the window.

“It’s just a game…It’s just a game…” you muttered to yourself over and over again, your shoulders hunched as your hands trembled while holding the controller.

You inched closer and closer, occasionally glancing back over your shoulder that if you didn’t secure your headset properly, it would have flown off by now. You tense up, bringing the controller close to your chest, your heart ringing loudly in your ears as you get closer to the window. Suddenly, you feel a hand on your shoulder—as in a _physical_ hand—and you shriek at the top of your lungs. You practically throw the VR headset away from you as you turn around to attack whatever or whoever it was that snuck up behind you while you’re still screaming.

“Wait, wait! Babe! Wait!”

The desperate voice that fills your ears is familiar, and you pause with your actions. White hair and red eyes greet you, and you collapse to your knees now that relief started to settle in. “My _god_ , Zen!” You spoke disapprovingly and accusingly. “Don’t _scare_ me like that!”

Zen throws both of his hands up defensively. “I was trying to get your attention since you weren’t responding. What were you doing anyways?”

“Playing a game,” you breathe out your answer.

The actor raises an eyebrow. “This late at night?”

You purse your lips and avert your gaze like a child. “I was waiting for you…”

Zen’s expression softens at your words, and he kneels down to your level. He brushes away some loose strands of your hair that flew over your face when you threw your headset off, and the actor placed an appreciative kiss on your forehead. He leans back to look at you, his eyes full of warmth, making your heart pound against you no longer out of fear but something else instead.

Zen takes your hand and helps you up to your feet before changing his mind and lifting you up instead. “I know some other game that the two of us can play together,” Zen says as he starts heading towards the bedroom, and you quickly catch on to what he means.

You hum in approval, threading your fingers through the actor’s hair and giving them a gentle tug, eliciting a long sigh from him. He holds you closer against him as you ask while a coy smile plays on your lips, “Will it involve me screaming?”

Zen bites his lower lip in turn, barely able to contain his excitement. He breathes out a small laugh and answers, “Lots.”


	22. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Model and Actor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff | You’re a fashion model and have to do a shoot with Zen.**

Whenever it came to job offers for modeling, Zen always felt rather iffy about them. On one hand, he was rather flattered, but on the other, he didn’t want to be seen as just a pretty face to look at. Yes, he wanted people to look at him, but not for his looks. He wanted people to look at him for his talent in acting. To sweep people away into a new world by taking on the role of several characters. So when Zen’s director convinced him to take this modeling job, he felt rather upset.

It was supposed to be a simple enough shoot, showcasing some upcoming agency’s new clothing lineup. It was a theme for couples, and Zen was chosen to model with another person. When Zen first met you, the person he would be working with, he was… Well, he couldn’t really say. There wasn’t much that stood out to you. Sure, there was still a certain charm to you, but overall, there wasn’t anything impressive.

That was until the two of you finally got to work.

Zen was absolutely astounded at the way you worked. He had never seen a model work so hard and seriously before (though to be fair, it wasn’t every day Zen worked with a model). You followed instructions well and with ease, making changes to your expression if needed, and working quickly overall. To Zen’s surprise, there weren’t that much need for retakes, and if there were, it was mostly to do with the lighting and composition. Eventually, they called for a break, and you left to do your own thing before the actor could even speak a word to you.

The young man didn’t have much to do during his break after posting all his selfies, and nobody was currently online in the messenger. His eyes scanned around the area and fell upon your form, secluded in a corner while tapping away at your phone. Figuring it wouldn’t hurt to try starting up a conversation with you and be friendly, Zen made his way over.

Aware of somebody’s gaze and presence, you bring your attention up from your phone, and Zen gives you a dazzling smile with a short wave of his hand. “Hello.”

“Hello…” you reply slowly, returning his greeting with a small and uncertain smile.

“I really like the way you work,” Zen compliments. “It’s fun watching you.”

The actor has a sort of awkward gait to him, and you can’t help but find it amusing for someone whom you thought showed absolute confidence the first time he introduced himself to you. “Thank you. It’s…fun watching you work too.” There’s a lull in the conversation after that, and you bring your attention towards your phone for a moment before letting out a sigh.

Zen curiously tilts his head to the side. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, really. Just waiting for tickets to go on sale,” you answer casually, and Zen feels relieved to have found something to talk about.

“Tickets for what?”

“A musical,” you answer, and Zen’s eyes light up instantly.

The actor tilts his head to the side, a certain kind of excitement playing on his features. “Do you like musicals?” He asks.

You nod your head in response. “Yeah. Well, I mean, I only recently started liking them. I never really got a chance to watch one until recently, and I guess I’m now kind of hooked.”

Before Zen could reply, the two of you were being called over once more, your break now finished. You both resume working, and the photographer directs the both of you, telling you how to pose and what kind of expressions he was looking for. Zen takes your hand in his as told, and before the camera could click, he decides to comment with amusement lacing his voice. “Actually, I’m a musical actor myself.”

You immediately snap your attention towards Zen just as the photo is taken. “Wait, what—?!”


	23. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Angst | Zen has to let you go, but he doesn’t want to.**  
>  **NOTE:** Written in First POV (Zen's).

I hate it. I hate the way you look at me because the truth is, you’re not _looking_ at me anymore. Not the way you used to when you first joined the RFA. I can see it in your eyes. You’re distracted while you talk to me, your mind thinking of somebody else. Somebody _better_ , and maybe I deserved this, but you know what? I was happy with you. Truly.

It’s been how long now? About a year or so? Was it foolish and arrogant of me to think that we could have lasted forever? Or if not forever, then maybe a bit longer than just this? It feels like such a short amount of time…

…It hurts. I don’t think you realize that my smile is just a tad bit wider or that I’m laughing just a bit louder than usual because _I’m trying_. I’m trying so hard to keep these feelings at bay and to stop myself from reaching out for you because you’re slipping from my grasp. I realized it a while ago, but I never said anything. Of course I would notice; you’re the only person I look at, after all.

Was it painful for you to be with me? It looked as though you were forcing yourself, your eyebrows furrowed whenever you thought I wasn’t looking. _I’m always looking_. Was it me, or was it those around me that caused you to feel this way? I don’t know which it was, but I wish that I realized it sooner and tried to stop it. Fix it, somehow.

When you said that you just needed to take a break from me—from _us_ —I was okay with that. Yes, I felt devastated to have you walk away, even if you did promise to come back, but I was happy for you. You were looking out for yourself, and I was fine with that. Your health and happiness should come first, after all. I’m sorry that I’ve always been greedy with you up until now.

I really was greedy though, wasn’t I? Always taking your love, kindness, and attention while I only returned to you the bare minimum. Maybe I should have tried harder to get my feelings and depth of my love for you across. But I’ve learned my lesson, and now I’m paying the price, I suppose.

Your laughter rings in my ears, and it’s such a tempting sound, and my mind starts to wander to what I could do to possibly make you stay. If I kissed you the way I know that makes you melt in my arms, would you stay a bit longer? If I ran my fingers through your hair while whispering those special words in that voice that always makes you shudder, would you stay with me? If I held your body flush against mine and made love to you over and over again like during those sleepless nights, would you stay forever?

Another voice calls your name, cutting you off in your excited conversation with me. Your eyes light up with so much joy, and your smile becomes so much more radiant as your cheeks flush a light shade of pink. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you turn your head around that fast before. You wave back to owner of the voice, and the new owner of your heart.

I try to ignore the way my heart clenches in my chest and the way my stomach twists and turns into knots in the most unpleasant of ways. You turn back to face me, and my breath hitches in my throat. It’s been so long since I last saw you this happy and excited, and a part of me feels relieved while the other feels like it’s drowning in my anguish that it’s longer me who’s responsible for bringing life in your eyes.

“Bye Zen, I’ll see you later!” It’s a simple farewell with a promise that neither of us are certain that you’ll keep, but it’s fine as long as you’re happy.

I don’t trust my voice enough to respond with words, so I press my lips together and give a curt nod. The cry I want to let out stays lodged in my throat, and it almost spills out the moment you kiss my cheek for one last time. You turn away soon after, eager to be with the one that you love, but for me, it almost looks like you’re eager to leave me, and that’s what almost kills me.

Without even realizing it, my hand is weakly reaching out to pull you back into my arms, but I stop myself from touching you any more. This is your choice, and I respect it, but… But _god_ , it hurts. It hurts _so much_! I thought I was fine with it, but _I’m not_.

Come back. _Please_ … I want you. I need you. I _love_ you. Don’t leave me, _fuck_ , please! I’m sorry! I’m sorry for all the pain that I’ve caused you when you loved me, but I can’t do it! I can’t watch you leave me for somebody else. Stay with me. I… I’m not ready to say goodbye. There are still so many words left unsaid. Things left undone.

_No! I don’t want this!!_

Please, look at me! Smile at me! _**Fall in love with me again, I beg you!!**_

**DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE, PLE——**


	24. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Muse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff/Slice-of-Life | You’re at a complete writer’s block, so Zen does some improv to help you out.**

Heaving out a long and tired sigh, you leaned back on the chair and away from the laptop you’ve been sitting in front of and staring at for who knows how long now. You pull back your shoulders and stretch out your back, tilting your head side to side as you work out the kinks in your neck. Giving your wrists a few flicks to get some feeling back in them, you vaguely consider asking either Seven or Yoosung for some tips on how to not strain your back when sitting in front of a computer for too long.

You rub your eyes with the heel of your palm before breathing out another sigh as you stretch your arms high above your head, the blinking cursor on the empty text document almost mocking you at the screen. You rest your elbows onto the table and slouch forward, placing your chin onto your palm for support as one more sigh slips past your lips.

“What’s wrong?”

The sudden question in the silence catches you off guard, and your gaze flickers over to the actor who’s sitting across from you on the table, his script abandoned as crimson eyes peer at you in concern. “What?” You ask a question yourself, clearly confused.

“That’s the third time you’ve sighed in under three minutes,” Zen points out, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards into a small amused smile, albeit concern still evident behind his features.

You shake your head to reassure the young man while flashing a small smile of your own. “It’s nothing,” you answer, though the way your shoulders sag say otherwise.

One of Zen’s eyebrows lifts itself, unconvinced of your response. The chair makes a scraping sound against the floor as your boyfriend pushes the chair back from the table to stand up from his seat. Within seconds, he’s kneeling at your side, and you find yourself unable to stop another sigh; however, before you can finish breathing it out, warm lips find yours, effectively cutting your sigh off short.

Zen pulls back from the sudden kiss, and though you did find it pleasant, you’re still confused as to what his reason was for the action. Tilting his head to the side, Zen’s cheeks tug upwards, and his hand finds its way to your cheeks and starts caressing the expanse of skin.

“They say that every time you sigh, you’re letting your happiness escape,” Zen explains. “I can’t have my beautiful princess’ happiness leave her, can I?”

You bite back a laugh and bow your head to hide your amusement, but the actor knows the effect he has on you, and his smile widens before guiding your face back up to look at him, leaning forward to place another yet longer kiss on your lips. You hum in delight at the soft and warm sensation, allowing yourself to melt into the simple display of affection.

“So,” Zen whispers, his lips brushing against yours while his breath fans your cheeks when he pulls away. “What’s causing you to sigh so much?”

Admitting defeat, you gesture towards your laptop with a nod. “I’m stuck,” you answer. “I can’t seem to think of anything to write. I’ve come to a complete block, and it’s _frustrating_.”

The young man’s expression softens with sympathy, his hands moving to take hold of yours. He strokes the back of your hand with the pads of his thumbs as a small comfort as he thinks about what to say. “Maybe you need a break,” Zen suggests.

You scrunch your face, disatisfied with the idea. “I’ve been doing _nothing_ this entire time. I don’t need a break. I need to do _something_.”

“How about doing something different?”

“I’ve tried that already,” you counter, getting increasingly frustrated.

“Then how about using me?”

That seemed to capture your attention. You quirk your eyebrows, pursing your lips at the young man’s suggestion as you try to figure out what he means by that. Zen can’t help but chuckle at your reaction. He stands and straightens himself up, pulling you up along with him. Keeping both of your hands wrapped underneath his own, Zen leads you away from your laptop and into a more open space in the living room.

“I’m an actor, sweetheart, and I’m yours,” your boyfriend whispers in your ear, a teasing lilt in his voice. “You can use me.”

“Use you how…?” You ask for clarification, your mind wandering to other places.

Zen smiles as he gives you a graceful twirl. “I can do improv, and maybe it would help spark some inspiration.”

You consider the young man’s offer for a moment, looking back at his hopeful and expectant eyes, and you nod in agreement while giving a casual shrug of your shoulders. “I guess it’s worth a try.”

The actor beams before clearing his throat, closing his eyes to take a moment to prepare himself. “So? What were you thinking about writing?”

“A tragic romance,” you respond. “Something with star-crossed lovers or something else like that.”

A couple of seconds tick by as Zen mulls over the idea and once satisfied, offers one quick nod of his head. His eyelids remain shut, his chest rising and falling with a deep breath. When the actor opens his eyes once more, it’s as though he’s become a completely different person. There is so much depth behind his expression, it almost steals your breath away.

“Stay with me,” Zen starts, getting into whatever role he decided for this improvisation. His fingers curl around your wrists, the grip strong but not enough to hurt. “ _Stay with me_ ,” the young man repeats, desperation and urgency laced in his voice. “I _need_ you.”

Finally catching up with the situation, you play along. Your acting isn’t as great as your boyfriend’s, but it’s more than enough. “But we can’t…” you trail off, trying to search for words to use. It seems improv isn’t one of your strong suits. “The others will—”

“I don’t care about the others!” Zen interrupts, taking the lead and control once more. “They mean _nothing_ to me. My heart beats for you and you alone. I won’t let them take you away from me. Once nightfall comes and the full moon rises…” Zen brings his voice low, his gaze becoming lidded as he inches his face closer to yours. “You’ll be completely mine.”

Your face flushes several shades, and you choke on your words as you lean away from the male from embarrassment. Zen, however, doesn’t drop his act in the slightest. He maintains eye contact with you throughout, and it keeps you rooted to your spot. Unable to take it any longer, you stubbornly turn your head to the side.

“Okay, I think that’s enough,” you declare with a firm push against the male. “I think I have enough ideas to use now.”

“Are you sure?” Zen asks in a sing-song voice, obviously enjoying himself.

You roll your eyes in good humour and playfully stick out your tongue, prompting Zen to laugh out loud. You turn on your heel to return to your laptop to write down the ideas that came to you before you forget them. Your boyfriend follows closely behind you, his hands on your hips and drumming his fingers on them while humming in satisfaction at being to help you out.

Zen peers over your shoulder, his eyes widening with the first few notes you started to type. “PWP? I thought you were going for tragic romance.”

“Things change,” you respond lightly with a smirk. “It’s still something—much better than writing nothing.”

“Hm, well, I’m glad I helped,” Zen laughs, placing a quick kiss on your temple. “If you ever need ideas for this one, I’d be more than happy to improv… _something_.


	25. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Once and Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Angst | Zen doesn’t know why it feels wrong to him that you’re with another man.**

Zen doesn’t know why, but the moment you logged into the private RFA chatroom, he felt as though he had met you before; somewhere in a past life or something like that. But that was impossible, he thought. After all, there’s no way he could possibly forget such a beautiful and charming woman such as yourself. Well, he _assumed_ you were beautiful despite never having seen your face before; something in his heart told him that his assumptions were correct though. But the truth is that the male truly did forget you, just like how you too had forgotten about him and the rest of the RFA when that mysterious app you installed just two weeks ago had reset itself.

You conversed with each of the members of the RFA, completely oblivious to the fact that you’ve had these conversations before. Sure, your responses were slightly different from before, but it wasn’t like you remembered them anyways. You felt a slight sense of déjà vu, but you shrugged it off; perhaps it was just the whole new and confusing situation that you were suddenly thrust into that made you feel that way. Zen felt the same as you did and found himself logging in more often ever since you joined. He enjoyed talking with you, and whenever he saw that you were online at the same time as him, his heart would always skip a beat.

The male couldn’t understand why he was so attracted to you. No, that was a lie; he knew why—you were always kind and supportive of him, and you always knew how to make him smile or laugh, but there was something in the back of his mind that kept on nagging at him that there was more to it than just that. The feelings he felt towards you both felt old and new, as though he was falling in love with you all over again. It was a strange thought, however. How can you fall in love all over again if this was your first time meeting each other?

The young man felt so confused in both his mind and his heart. There were many times when he wanted to bring it up with you to talk about, hoping that perhaps you felt the same way. If the conversation didn’t go as he had planned or liked it to, he could always shrug it off by saying how it felt like it was fate. That way, the conversation could easily be waved off as one of his usual flirtatious spiels, but he honestly felt that maybe this _is_ fate. Despite Zen’s desire to discuss these weird emotions of his, he always held himself back.

_“lololol Yoosung, you’re so cute! ^^”_

Zen read your conversations with the youngest member of the organization. If the actor said that those conversations didn’t bother him, he would be lying. It wasn’t that bad in the beginning though. Perhaps you were just teasing and joking around with Yoosung, Zen thought and desperately hoped to himself. But as an actor, Zen knew just how to read between the lines of your exchanged chats with the young blond.

Something in Zen’s heart broke the more often you flirted with Yoosung as the days passed by. Zen started logging in less the more Yoosung logged in to talk to you. He wanted to avoid the chatroom as much as possible; seeing the woman he loved— _loved_? Was that really how Zen felt towards you after only just a few days of conversations?—fall in love with somebody else was far too painful for him.

But even so, the chatroom was the only time he was able to talk with you. The apartment you were staying at was a secret to the members of the RFA, so it wasn’t like he could just come visit you, even though that was what he desperately wanted to do. He _could_ always try calling you, but whenever he did, it always felt like you were eagerly waiting for Yoosung’s calls instead. He was fairly certain that one time you tried to politely interrupt him saying that you were getting another call—an important one, you had said perhaps to alleviate the guilt of cutting the conversation short—was probably because of Yoosung. Zen was able to hear it in your voice, so he eventually started to keep phone calls to you at a minimum.

_“This is wrong,”_ the young man thought to himself. _“Something’s not right. It… Shouldn’t it be me? I’m certain it’s supposed to be me that she chose, so why—?”_

_Chose_? Why past tense? Zen groaned as he felt an oncoming headache. The more he tried to think about this and try to make sense of the whole situation, the more frequent he would get headaches. One time, he had accidentally let it slip in the chatroom that he had been getting all these headaches lately, and you were quick to show your concern towards him.

_“Oh no, are you okay?”_ you worried over the young man and his well-being over the messenger. _“You should take some medicine and try not to overwork yourself. Please try to take it easy.”_

Zen’s heart clenched at your words, and for a moment, he felt as though this was how things were _supposed_ to be. With you concerning yourself with his troubles and somehow healing him with your words. Zen thanked you on the messenger before logging out when he saw Yoosung log in just a few seconds ago. The male actor was too tired to read your conversations and flirting and pretend to be supportive of the relationship. Zen lay down on his bed and pressed through a few buttons on his phone to bring up the call log. He placed the phone close to his ear and listened repeatedly to your past conversations. This was the only way he could find comfort in this confusion.

“Huh? What’s this…?”

Zen became confused when he found a call log to you that was time stamped at a strange date. The date the call was made was apparently made three days in the future? Trying not too think to hard about it but also becoming rather curious, Zen pressed the button on the phone and put it against his ear to listen to this conversation.

“I love you,” Zen heard his voice speak to you, throwing him into further confusion as the thought of confessing to you had never crossed his mind (yet, at least); however, before he could even attempt to understand this strange phone call, he heard your response.

_“I love you too, Zen.”_

And with just that line alone, the emotions that Zen tried to bury for you started to overflow. The male bit his knuckles as he tried to suppress a sob. He didn’t care if it would leave a mark on him; the pain was too much for him to bear. Somehow, deep in his heart, Zen knew that this conversation surely must have happened before; he truly believed it, and he knew that the conversation would never happen again. At least, not for this route that was currently playing out. All Zen could do was hope you would choose him once again the moment you reset this world.


	26. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Presence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Hurt/Comfort | You’re having a bad day, but Zen is there for you.**

A frown marred your lips as you tried to calm the aching throbs in your chest. You lay down on the bed, trying to take deep and steady breaths to chase away the horrible feeling in both mind and body, but that sickening feeling lingered. It remained caught in your throat and stomach, and your thoughts became murky and dizzying. Your eyes clenched shut, unable to shake away the tenseness in your muscles, and your breathing that you tried to maintain slowly turned ragged.

All of a sudden, you felt a warm hand on your cheek, and it provided a small sense of comfort. You brought yourself to open your eyes, and you’re greeted by Zen’s face gazing down at you with his eyebrows stitched together. Somehow, you were able to bring yourself to offer a small smile, but it didn’t show in the rest of your features.

One of your hands grasped onto the fabric of your shirt above your heart, and in mere moments, Zen’s hand was atop yours. “I feel anxious, and I don’t know what for,” you voice out in a small whisper, wavering the slightest bit with your words as tears pricked at the corner of your eyes.

Zen nodded in understanding, and he opened his arms wide for you, a silent invitation. You were more than happy to accept, sitting up from the bed and instead choosing to wrap your arms around the actor’s figure. Zen combed through your hair, the pads of his fingers grazing against your scalp which helped ease your muscles, and you melted underneath the young man’s touch.

“…I’m sad too,” you added slowly, and Zen placed a kiss on the crown of your head, his free hand moving to soothingly rub your back.

“It’s okay.” Zen’s voice barely reached that of a whisper as he continued to place feather-like kisses against your skin. “I’m here for you.”


	27. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Angst | Be careful what you wish for.**

It was a slip of a tongue. Unfiltered words that were spoken from overwhelming emotions rather than rational thought, but the sentence rings loud and clear in your ears. The sentence acts like a knife, cutting a wound so deep in your heart that all you’re left with is nothing but numbness.

The air is thick and heavy in the room, both you and Zen staring at each other with widened eyes as you both process what he just said. The silence weighs down onto your shoulders, and you crumple down to your knees like a marionette with her strings cut. Your eyes are glossy as you try to fight back your tears.

Once Zen gets over his own shock, intense guilt takes over, and he kneels down to your level. The actor hesitates, wondering if he should place a hand on you or not, and when he doesn’t, you’re not too sure how you feel. “B-Babe, I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean—”

You take a shuddering breath, ignoring him. The words he yelled at you just moments before repeat over and over in your mind.

_“Why can’t you be more like her?”_

About a year prior, Zen had revealed to the public his love for the new party coordinator in the RFA. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out for them, and the young woman instead decided that she loved someone else. Zen was devastated, but he had learned to accept it and found a new love with you, having moved on. Or at least, that was what you had hoped.

It started with a simple question. A simple question of how much longer the actor was going to stress himself out over this new role of his. Perhaps it was just the phrasing, or maybe it was the stress, but Zen replied with a sharp edge in his voice. Hearing his tone of voice, you automatically went on the defensive, and things just started to grow from there. Concerns turned to questions which turned to accusations which turned to a shouting match.

_“Why can’t you be more like her?”_

It didn’t take a genius to figure out who Zen was referring to. In all honesty though, you think that you were already aware of the lingering feelings the actor held for his ex-girlfriend. He would offer simple comments about how he thought a certain hair length would suit you or suggestions to grow out your bangs. He would give you gifts that he had complete confidence that you would like when in truth, they weren’t really your thing. He would bring you to dates where he would comment with a faraway look that it was special to him.

They were harmless, really, and you don’t think Zen realized it himself. …Until now, that is.

_“Why can’t you be more like her?”_

You bite your lower lip, your form trembling as you finally bring yourself to ask, “Was I…just a replacement for you?”

Zen immediately shakes his head. “No! I…” The young man trails off, his eyebrows stitching together. He’s confused himself as to what exactly he feels, and it’s that hesitation that helps you make up your mind.

You move to stand up, staggering as you do since the weight in your heart hasn’t let up a single bit. “I understand…” Your voice comes out weak and defeated, and it makes Zen’s heart clench. Still kneeling on the floor, the actor moves to hold your hand, but you take a sharp turn on your heel and start to gather your belongings. “If you can’t love me for who I am, then maybe it would be best if we just break things off here.”

The finality in your voice snaps Zen out of his thoughts, and it incites a certain desperation from him. The young man scrambles to his feet before running over to you, almost tripping in the process. His arms wind around your shoulders, pulling you back to collide against his chest. “No, please… I’m sorry. I… I promise it won’t be like that anymore. I just… Please, don’t leave me too…”

Zen’s voice wavers, as does your resolve when you hear how vulnerable he sounds, but you aren’t _her_. Even if it was somebody as sweet and loving as Zen, you respected yourself enough to not be seen as a replacement for a past love. You respected yourself enough to be your own person and not “be more like someone else”. You were better than that, and the actor knew that too.

You pry yourself away from Zen, and he whimpers at the disappearance of your warmth, but he understands your choice. Hesitation claws at the back of your mind, thinking that you might regret this emotional decision, but you believe that you would have made the same decision anyways even if you were acting on rational thought.

You part your lips to apologize, but the words get lodged in your throat. You decide against it and merely shake your head, leaving Zen with a single word that completely breaks him apart.

“Thanks.”

* * *

The apartment seems so cold and empty without you, almost as though you took whatever warmth there was along with you when you left without a single glance back. Zen sits in the eerie silence, a complete contrast from the raging storm of emotions inside him. He messed up again, he realizes now that everything’s started to settle in.

Zen recalls all the times he had wished he had a girlfriend, and he wants to take it all back. If he knew that falling in love would be this painful, he never would have wished to have fallen in love in the first place.


	28. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Sleep and Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Hurt/Comfort | You’re tired and can’t sleep.**

Your feet drag your body over to the bed, your shoulders sagging with the weight of your thoughts and events of the day. You release a heavy sigh from within you before haphazardly collapsing onto the bed face-first, the mattress creaking with the sudden addition of your body. You bury your face deeper within the sheets, breathing in its comforting scent as you try to ignore how heavy your body feels, but it’s impossible.

Your feet are throbbing. Your legs are aching. Your shoulders are tense. And there’s an unpleasant thrumming in your head that won’t leave you alone. You take in a deep breath, your fingers curling to clutch onto the sheets before taking another deep breath and trying to come to an even rhythm.

Too engrossed in your poor attempts to relieve yourself, you fail to notice the distinct clicking sound of the bedroom door. Your breath catches in your throat when you feel a palm on your back, and you instinctively tense up even more before the palm starts to move up and down your spine in slow and soothing motions.

“You should go to sleep.” The words sound more like a gentle suggestion rather than a reprimanding order.

You shake your head, another tired and defeated breath leaving you. “I’m trying.”

The palm that was on your back moves over to your shoulders instead, nudging you to turn, so you do, and you offer the actor before you a small smile to reassure him. Zen doesn’t seem convinced in the slightest and silently runs his fingers along your cheek. The warmth of his hands leave you to support himself on the mattress as he leans down to kiss you.

“Sleep,” Zen suggests once more, the word coming out as a whisper as he brings his fingers to comb through your hair, knowing full well how much you enjoyed the action. Your eyelids flutter close as you try to snuggle yourself even closer to Zen’s warmth.

“Stay with me.”

The corners of the actor’s lips curve into a smile, and Zen shifts the both of you around so that you’re fully wrapped in his arms. You press your ear against the young man’s chest and listen to his loud heartbeats, finding the fatigue and tension slowly melting away the longer you stayed in that position. Zen’s lips brush against the top of your head, the grip of his arms around you increasing just the slightest bit.

“I’ll always stay with you.”


	29. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Special Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff/Slice-of-Life | It’s Zen’s birthday, and it truly is a day to celebrate.**

Zen fidgeted on the couch, his eyes darting towards the time for the umpteenth time before stealing a glance your way. You were sitting beside him with your attention fixated on your phone, your leg bouncing every now and then. The actor bit at his lower lip as the anticipation grew more and more with each second that ticked by. 11:59PM. In just one more minute, it would finally be April, as well as be the start of a very special day for someone.

Zen wasn’t really expecting much for his birthday, understanding with reluctance that your entire world didn’t revolve around just him alone, but he could still dream. At the very least, he hoped that you would greet him a happy birthday, but it was still too early for that. One minute too early, to be exact.

The young man held his breath, his fingers drumming against his knee while his shoulders tensed. Just a few more seconds now…

The moment it turned 12AM, before he could even react, you abandoned your phone and flung yourself towards Zen, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Zen, happy birthday!!” You exclaimed with glee, your figure shaking slightly as delighted giggles tumbled out of your lips.

Zen joined in on your laughter before returning your embrace, his heart getting caught in his throat. The actor buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent as he squeezed your body closer against him. His lips left ticklish kisses upon your skin, small vibrations leaving him as he hummed in satisfaction.

“Thank you so much, babe,” Zen breathed out with a dreamy sigh.

You pulled away from the embrace enough so to look at the actor directly in his eyes. Your expression melted to one of a smile before leaning forward to give Zen a loving kiss while his hands moved to comb through your hair.

“I’m finally the first one to greet you this year,” you practically bragged, pointing your nose upwards.

“Mm-hmm…” Zen answered lazily, but he still couldn’t stop the way the corners of his mouth lifted into a smile all the way up to his eyes.

“So?” You tilted your head to the side with curiosity shining behind your features. “What does the lovely birthday boy want for his special day?”

“Who knows?” Zen laughed, fingers dancing along the sides of your body and deciding to rest on your hips. “After all, I already have my lovely lady with me.”

You gave an amused snort, rolling your eyes as your facial features scrunched up in mock disgust at his words. At that, Zen responded by pinching the bridge of your nose, prompting you to pull away. Zen didn’t bother stopping the whine of protest that tumbled out of his parted lips as he kept his arms locked around your waist. The actor pulled his bottom lip upwards, widening his eyes to look more innocent underneath your gaze.

You shook your head in admitted defeat, and Zen’s face lit up instantly when you lay your head down against his chest. “I’m only doing this just because it’s your birthday,” you clarified.

A moment of peace washed over the room, the only sounds being the ticking of the clock. Your hand moved to rest atop where the actor’s heart was and feeling it race underneath your touch. After a while, you spoke once more, your voice barely reaching that of a whisper. “We should go to sleep.”

“Mm…can I be selfish on my birthday?” Zen asked, not moving a single inch from his spot after finding himself to be quite comfortable.

“What? Are you going to ask for some birthday sex?” Despite the straightforward words, your cheeks still darkened in shade.

The actor offered you a languid smile, seemingly unfazed at your bluntness nor his transparency of what he wanted. “If you’re willing.”

You bit at your lower lip, but a small laugh still managed to make its way out of you. You sat up, Zen’s eyes following your every move. Your gaze roamed all over the young man’s body, and the corner of your lips pulled up into a smirk at his hopeful expression. “If you get me into the mood, then maybe.”

“Is that a challenge?” Zen questioned with a grin, his eyes lighting up with a mischievious glint.

“That depends on you, wouldn’t it?”

Without another word, Zen lunged towards you, a low and playful growl rumbling out of his chest as he scooped you up in his arms. His strides were long and quick as he carried you over to the bedroom, practically glowing with excitement and pure confidence. The actor kicked the door open before kicking it back closed once more with his heel as soon as he stepped inside. Zen dropped down onto the bed with your body still encased in his arms and pushing his weight against you before capturing your lips into a flurry of kisses.

“I hope you’re prepared for a long night, princess,” Zen whispered lowly, his voice sending shivers down your spine.

“As long as I’m with you, I’m prepared for eternity.”

* * *

You were the first one to wake up after such an _intense_ night, and you turned your head to the side to glance at the male still sleeping beside you. Your expression softened, and you allowed the tips of your fingers to brush against the actor’s cheek which seemed to pull a smile from him. Carefully, you got up from the bed to prepare for this exciting day.

By the time Zen woke up, you had just finished setting up breakfast. The young man walked to the table, scratching at his stomach while letting out a yawn, still slightly sleepy from the events of last night. When he saw the assortment of his favourite foods laid out on the table, Zen’s eyes widened with childlike glee.

“What’s all this?” He asked.

“A special breakfast for a special man on his special day.”

“ _You_ are special,” Zen crooned, pulling you towards him and showering your face and neck with various kisses.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the display of affection, and though you wanted to stay like that a bit longer, you had to remind yourself to pull away. “Let’s go eat. We need the energy since I have quite a few things planned out for you today.” Thankfully, the actor wasn’t swamped by his work and was free that entire day.

“I look forward to it,” Zen hummed, rubbing his nose against yours.

When the two of you finished breakfast, you both got dressed into something nice but still casual for the day. You and Zen exited the apartment at just the same time as the neighbours. The neighbours made eye contact with the pair of you, and their faces became flushed as they awkwardly greeted the actor a happy birthday before excusing themselves at a brisk pace.

As soon as they were gone, you threw your head back with a bark of laughter, Zen following you soon afterwards. “Oh my god, they _totally_ heard _everything_ last night,” you breathed out as you gave Zen’s arm a light smack. “It’s because you’re always so loud!”

“You’re _louder_ ,” Zen argued, still unable to stop his laughter.

“You’re _loudest_ ,” you shot back before linking your arm with the male’s.

Zen shook his head, his shoulders shaking with the delighted sounds rumbling out from his chest. The actor slid your hand down so that it could meet with his, and he laced your fingers together with his own. Zen shot you a wide grin, his cheeks hurting from just how much his smile spread, but he didn’t particularly mind.

Unable to resist, you move to kiss the actor’s flushed cheeks. “Well then, are you ready for what I have planned for you and your birthday?”

“I hope so,” Zen answered truthfully. “Thank you so much, babe.”

You offer the young man a small smile. “We haven’t done anything yet.”

“I meant for everything,” Zen clarified, squeezing your hand that made your heart race. “For joining the RFA and coming into my life. For staying with me despite all my flaws. For making every day so much brighter than the last. I… I’m really happy to have met you. Thank you for being my important someone and making my birthday feel special.”


	30. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff | You and Zen are co-actors.**

It was Zen’s first major role to play in an actual film, and to be frank, he was nervous beyond belief. The actor only started out with small musicals, so acting for the big screen with different environments and sets and cameras everywhere was still a bit new to him. At the same time, however, Zen understood that he was able to climb up all the way here by his hard work and determination, and he felt rather proud about that.

The film was supposed to be a tragic romance fantasy about a human girl who fell in love with her Guardian Angel, while he fell in love with her. The angel knows that the woman’s death was approaching, but he can’t do anything about it, no matter how hard he struggles against fate, and this was the role that Zen was cast for.

“Oh, Zen! Good morning!”

The actor straightens up immediately when he hears your familiar voice greet him, and the young man enthusiastically returns your greeting. You were the shared lead role with Zen, playing as the woman in love with her Guardian Angel. Throughout the time the two of you worked together, Zen found himself becoming close with you. You were a pleasant person to both talk to and work with, and Zen couldn’t deny the way his heart would race whenever he was with you.

“I look forward to working with you today too.” You flash the actor a warm smile, and he practically melts on the spot.

“I am too,” Zen replies, pushing his thoughts away before the two of you go to get ready. He needed to remain professional.

As soon as the cameras start rolling, Zen is no longer Zen but the character he plays as, and he’s no longer just a co-worker to you but as your star-crossed lover. The scene that you and the rest of the cast and crew were filming was the climax of the woman’s and angel’s relationship, the angel coming to terms with the woman’s fate but still wanting to say a proper farewell.

“You mean everything to me,” Zen speaks as his character, the scripted words tumbling out of his lips with ease. He continues going through the lines, your own lines mixed in between, and as the scene continues, Zen’s character starts to become more and more overwhelmed. …And Zen is too.

Somehow, along the way, both Zen’s character and the actor himself slowly started to blend together, and the young man was unable to tell whose heart he was speaking from. Whose feelings he was trying to convey. Zen didn’t know why he did it, but as soon as the actor finishes with his lines, he suddenly cups your face and leans down to kiss you.

Your eyes widen with complete surprise; this wasn’t part of the script. Before you can even react, trying to figure out what the proper response should be to this situation, Zen pulls away from you, still looking at you like his character in love, or could it be…?

“Cut!” The director’s crisp voice rings loudly in the air, and both you and Zen are simultaneously broken out of your thoughts.

It’s obvious from the young man’s expression that he was panicking, although whether it was because he messed up the scene by doing something not on the script or from the action of suddenly kissing you itself, you couldn’t tell. Both you and the actor glance towards the director who doesn’t look upset all. In fact, he looks rather pleased.

“I liked that added kiss at the end. It really ties in the whole scene together. Let’s keep it in.”

Zen immediately goes to try to convince the director otherwise since you had no idea that the young man was ever going to kiss you, and he thought that you would be uncomfortable with having it shown on screen. Before Zen could utter a word though, you interrupt him with a single word. “Okay.”

After filming was over for the day, Zen tries to catch you before you leave. He calls out to you, and you stop in your tracks, tilting your head to the side as curiosity makes its way to your features. Zen gets straight to the point. “I’m sorry for earlier!” He exclaims perhaps a bit too loudly, and his flushed cheeks deepen in shades even more.

“It’s fine,” you reply. “It was just acting.”

The young man shakes his head. “No, that’s the thing. It wasn’t acting. I…I kissed you because I myself wanted to kiss you. Not as the character I was playing as. I’m really sorry!”

You remain quiet for a moment as you process Zen’s words, and the pieces slowly fall into place. Heat rises to your cheeks as you try to explain. “E-Even so, it’s still fine. I…admittedly kind of liked it.”

Zen finally brings his gaze to yours, and since this is how the situation is right now, he decides to just go for it and asks, “I know I skipped all the steps before by kissing you, but I was wondering if…maybe you can give me a chance to start at the beginning and go on a date with me once we’re done filming the movie?”

You respond without wasting a single second. “Yeah, I’d like that.”


	31. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Stay With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Angst/Fluff | Zen is a ghoul and has fallen in love with you, a human. Everything is all fine and well, but then you discover Zen’s secret.**  
>  **NOTE:** Cross-over with Tokyo Ghoul

If there was anything that falling in love taught Zen, it was self-control. He had used to be so impulsive, constantly giving in to his hunger and thirst and preying on whatever poor human happened to pass by. Of course, he was careful to not rouse suspicion or gather enemies, but he was much more wild in his younger days.

Then he met you in a quaint coffee shop one fine afternoon, and he never knew just how much love could change someone. You were sitting by yourself at a table in the corner of the shop, immersed in your phone. It was then some jerk had approached you and started to give you trouble, invading your personal space. Whether you were a ghoul or human, it didn’t matter to Zen; he was not one to just idly sit by and watch a woman get harrassed.

The young man stood up from his seat and started to make his way over when you “accidentally” spilled some of your coffee on the man bothering you. The man screeched and looked ready to pick a fight when Zen grabbed the male’s wrist, his grip threatening. “Do you need something with my girlfriend?” Zen asked, squaring his shoulders and standing his ground.

The other man realized this was a fight he would lose, so he gave up and sulked away. Zen’s eyes followed him leave before sitting down on the chair in front of you, one of your eyebrows raised. “And just what kind of boyfriend sits at another table the entire time and not with his girlfriend?” You spoke, suspicious but grateful at the same time.

“A bad one who gets really nervous with such a pretty lady,” Zen replied with an apologetic look. “Forgive me?”

Your shoulders relaxed when you realized that the young man before you wasn’t a threat. You leaned back on your chair, your fingers moving to twirl some locks of your hair. “Buy me a cup, and I’ll consider it.”

Zen’s gaze flickered over to the barista who had been keeping watch on them. She shot the ghoul a silent warning, and he understood, but even so, he smiled at you. “You got it.”

It’s been a couple of months since then, and both you and Zen really hit it off well. He was super affectionate and always caring for your well-being. He did tend to get overprotective at times, but he never overstepped his boundaries either. The young man fell in love with you more and more with each passing day, and it was getting more difficult for him in keeping his secret.

He never meant to keep the fact that he was a ghoul secret from you, but he was scared. He was terrified that you would leave him if you found out. So he was careful and meticulous. He even tried to stop eating as much so that he can pretend that he was just a normal human like you, but perhaps that was a bad idea in the long run.

You and Zen were spending some time alone in your apartment. The young man was gushing about how cute you were when you decided to finally shut him up with a kiss like you always did. And as always, Zen would respond with kissing you back with intense ferocity that made your knees weak. Zen pushed his weight against you, bringing the both of you to topple over on the bed.

The young man broke the kiss apart with a sharp gasp for air before dipping his head down to your neck. He kissed and licked along your skin, smiling in satisfaction at the pleased hum you let out, and Zen pressed his hips firmly against yours. His hands travelled all along your body, your own arms rising to wrap around the male’s neck.

What happened next was a surprise. A rather unpleasant one at that. Zen bit hard at your skin, and you shrieked in pain, pushing the young man off of you. You lifted a hand to where Zen bit to help soothe the pain when you felt a warm and sticky liquid underneath your palm. You shot your gaze over to Zen. “What—”

You interrupted yourself, your eyes being met with terrifying ones. Zen wiped the blood on his lips with the back of his hand, a curse tumbling out of his lips. A ghoul, you realized far too late. Zen was a ghoul. Your body reacted immediately while your mind still lagged behind on what to do. You got off the bed, your legs ready to run when you felt a hand on your wrist before you were suddenly yanked back to the mattress, Zen’s body hovering over you and keeping a vice-like grip on your wrists.

He knew he messed up and wanted to apologize before you could run away, but Zen could hear your heart racing and feel your blood pumping, and it excited him deep to his core. But then he saw the complete fear in your eyes. The way your lips trembled as you tried to hold back your whimpers sent guilt to rise in his chest. His heart ached when he saw your tears, and suddenly, Zen can’t find the words.

“…Sorry.” The young man muttered out a single word, his eyes burning with unshed tears before getting off of you. You weren’t given a chance to speak, Zen already running to the door and leaving you.

* * *

* * *

Zen’s lungs burned in protest from all the running. Just how long had he been running for and just how far? He needed to take a moment to breathe, but he couldn’t stop. He can’t; otherwise, the memory of hurting you would catch up with him. He bit you and drew blood from you. It was an accident. He didn’t mean to—

Zen lurched, placing his hand on a nearby wall and bent forward, his free hand moving to grasp onto his twisting stomach in an attempt to calm it. A guttural sound slipped past his lips, his tears hot against his cheeks as shame and guilt clawed at his chest. Why did it have to be like this? All he wanted was to live a normal life with the person that he loved, but in the end, he had hurt you, and not just physically either.

Zen had no doubts that you were hurt by the fact that he had lied to you all this time. Without meaning to, Zen immediately assumed that you must have thought that he was just using you or something. Surely, you must have a horrible view of the man he was now.

He warned you countless times to be careful around others and himself, telling you just how dangerous he was. He should have heeded his own warning, and now… Now he couldn’t bring himself to face you ever again.

“Zen!”

The ghoul’s head snapped up at the sound of your voice. He spun on his heel, eyes open wide when he saw you running towards him, the injury he left on your neck still present with your blood seeping through the collar of your shirt. Concern easily overpowered guilt, and Zen ran to you before gripping onto your shoulders so hard that you winced.

“What are you doing here?!” Zen yelled at you, his voice containing a sharp edge with his eyebrows scrunched together. “You’re injured! You should have gone to the hospital!”

“No!!” You raised your voice in turn, silencing the young man before you. You heaved and gasped for air, choking back on your sobs. “I couldn’t risk not going after you and never seeing you again…”

Zen’s eyes searched your face for some kind of hint on what he should do—what you wanted him to do—but all he saw was desperation and fear, yet somehow, it looked different than from before.

“I love you,” you choked out, feeling like your knees were about to give out on you. “Yes, I’m shocked, and I’m scared, but… but we can talk this out, right?”

“I never wanted to hurt you…” Zen whispered after a pause, his voice much softer than before as his hands trailed the length of your arms.

“I realize that.”

The ghoul bit on his lower lip before pulling you towards his trembling form into a tight embrace. “I love you, and I never want to leave you. Please… Even if I’m like this, please let me stay with you.”

You nodded your head against Zen’s chest, appreciating the way it beated for you. “Stay with me.”

The young man breathed out a sigh of relief, pulling back the slightest bit so that he could kiss the injury on your neck, vowing to himself that he wouldn’t allow another accident like this ever again. He would protect you, both from others and from himself if need be.


	32. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Hurt/Comfort | Zen offers you some small comfort.**

You pause with the packing of your bags when strong but soft hands encase your own shaky ones. A familiar broad chest presses against your back, and the hands wrapped around yours slowly slide over to around your waist instead, pulling you back towards warmth. A gentle voice whispers out your name, the breath tickling your ears which gives you enough courage to turn around in the embrace. Even with your blurred vision, you can still see the concern in Zen’s eyes as he leans his head towards you and rests his forehead against your own.

“It’s okay…” Zen coos softly, rubbing small circles with his thumbs on the small of your back. “It’ll be okay. You’re strong, so I know you can get through this hard time.”

You shake your head, unconvinced. “I don’t think I can…”

“You can,” Zen insists, offering you a small, encouraging smile which is just enough to pull a small smile out from you. “You _will_.”


	33. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Sweet and Fluffy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff/Slice-of-Life | Zen bakes a cake with his daughter for your birthday.**

You look up from the novel you’re reading when the sound of the bedroom door creaking open reaches your ears, and a warm smile spreads across your lips when Zen comes into view while sniffling. His expression of looking absolutely done melts away as soon as he locks eyes with you, and his shoulders slump with relief as the male slides into his side of the bed. His strong arms wrap themselves around your waist, and the young man nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, eliciting small giggles from your lips.

“Is Ha-Yun finally asleep?” You ask about your daughter as your hand reaches up to stroke Zen’s hair.

“Mm-hmm…” Zen mumbles against your skin, a sigh of relief slipping past him at the sensation of your fingers running through his long and soft locks. “We read the story with the cats together. I swear, why did Seven have to give her that book for her birthday?”

You bite back a laugh at the imagery of your lover lying on the bed with your daughter snuggled up close to him, picture book in hand as he struggles to read through the words amidst his constant sneezing and sniffling. A gentle poke to your side breaks you out of your thoughts, and your eyes fall upon Zen who’s wearing one of the most adorable pouts on his face you’ve ever seen before.

“You’re imagining how ridiculous I must have looked and finding it very funny, aren’t you?” the actor accuses.

“I wouldn’t say ridiculous…more like cute.” You don’t bother denying the truth, and Zen offers a playful growl in response before pushing you down onto the bed and sealing your lips with a heated kiss. The actor takes your bottom lip between his teeth and tugs on the soft flesh, his exhaled breaths adding even more warmth to your flushed cheeks.

Zen’s fingers glide down to the hem of your shirt, his slender digits brushing against your delicate skin as the actor shoots you a smirk that sends you squirming. “Don’t think I’m not going to punish you for that, babe,” he whispers, the pitch of his voice much deeper than normal. Without waiting for your response, the young man dips his head low and latches his mouth to your skin; he isn’t going to easily let you go for the night.

* * *

Zen wakes up at an earlier time than usual, feeling quite energized even after last night’s _relentless_ activities. His gaze lands on your sleeping figure, and the actor’s heart swells at the sight. No matter how many times he wakes up to being beside you, it still sends the butterflies in his stomach to dance to the beat of his racing heart. Being extremely careful to not wake you, the actor places a feather-light kiss on your forehead before swinging his legs off the bed and getting up to get ready for the day.

Zen’s feet pad across the floor as he quietly makes his way to his daughter’s bedroom. A smile graces his features when he sees all the decorations taped on Ha-Yun’s door. The young man gives the door a gentle knock to signal his presence in case Ha-Yun was already awake. Zen places his hand on the cold knob and slowly turns it.

The actor cracks the door open just a bit and peeks inside and is greeted by none other than the sight of his little princess fast asleep on her bed, her precious teddy bear that Zen had given to her for her very first birthday wrapped tightly in her arms. Zen enters the messy room and tiptoes his way over to Ha-Yun’s bed.

Zen kneels down to the little girl’s height, and he places a gentle hand on her shoulder to shake her awake. Ha-Yun whines in protest, her eyelids slowly fluttering open.

“Good morning, little princess,” Zen coos as he tilts his head to the side in pure adoration. “Do you still want to help me make a surprise birthday cake for mommy?”

Remembering their secret promise from last night before Ha-Yun went to sleep, the little girl nods and sits up, rubbing away at the remaining sleep in her eyes. Zen’s expression softens, and he picks up his daughter with ease as she lets out one last long yawn. The actor leads the two of them to the bathroom to freshen up.

Zen opens the faucet and makes sure the water is the perfect temperature before bringing the stool over for Ha-Yun to stand on her own. The pair of them takes turns washing their faces with Ha-Yun going first and Zen following afterwards. The young man turns off the faucet and fetches the towel from the rack, patting his face dry before kneeling down to pat at Ha-Yun’s face next.

The little girl reaches for their toothbrushes and prepares them before handing over the one that belonged to her father. “Here you go,” she offers proudly.

“Thank you,” Zen croons, absolutely smitten at how cute his daughter was. The two of them brush their teeth in a comfortable silence while Zen affectionately pats the child’s head.

Seemingly more awake, Ha-Yun hops off of the stool as soon as the pair are done in the washroom, and she rushes off to the kitchen with Zen following close behind her. The little girl hops around in excitement as the actor pulls up the recipe he found online on his phone and gathers the necessary utensils and ingredients.

“Sweetheart, could you get two eggs for me from the fridge?” Zen asks Ha-Yun for help, wanting her to be just as involved in the whole cake-baking process.

The child gives one strong nod before turning on her heel and doing as she was asked. She returns with one egg in each of her small hands. Zen graciously takes them from her before rewarding the little girl with a pat on her head, prompting her to grin widely from doing something right.

“Let’s see if we can make a delicious cake for mommy. What do you say?” The young man suggests to his daughter, and she nods in agreement.

The pair of them get to work, Zen reciting the recipe for Ha-Yun to follow. He watches over her work and guides her hands to show her how things are done. Once all the ingredients are properly mixed into the bowl with Ha-Yun looking over it with complete wonder, Zen playfully dips his finger into the mixture before spreading some onto the tip of the little girl’s nose.

Ha-Yun immediately scrunches her face and pulls away. “ _Daddy_!” She whines, sounding rather offended.

Zen only laughs in response before sweeping his daughter off her feet and bringing her face close to his and rubbing their noses together. Delighted giggles bubbles out from Ha-Yun’s lips, but Zen doesn’t stop with his actions, his own face scrunching up with an overwhelming amount of joy as he squeezes the little girl close to him.

Eventually Zen relents and lets Ha-Yun down before pouring the cake mixture into the pan and then popping it into the oven. He sets the timer and places his hands on his hips as a look of accomplished pride creeps onto his features. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Ha-Yun make her way beside him and follow his exact same posture and expression, prompting him to exhale a small laugh.

The young man kneels down to Ha-Yun’s level and leans his forehead to rest against hers. “I love you _so_ much…” he sighs. “You have no idea just how happy you and your mom make me.”

Zen stays like that for a few more seconds with a confused Ha-Yun before he eventually cracks a smile and straightens himself up. “Let’s go clean up.”

“Okay!”

Both Ha-Yun and Zen work together to put the ingredients away. The actor retrieves the stool once more and places it in front of the sink. Both father and daughter wash the dishes side-by-side and finish just as soon as the cake is done baking. Zen carefully takes the cake out from the oven and allows it to cool. As soon as the baked treat is ready, Zen gives Ha-Yun free reign on the decorations.

“All done!” The child announces, her face absolutely radiant as she gazes down at her masterpiece.

Pulling out his phone, Zen takes several photos of the cake and selfies with his daughter. All that was left now was to wake you up and show you the surprise.

The actor takes Ha-Yun’s hand in his own and guides her to the master bedroom where you were still sleeping. The moment Zen opens the door, Ha-Yun slips free from the actor’s grasp and rushes over to the bed. She practically dives onto the mattress, startling you awake much to Zen’s amusement.

“What…?” You ask, entirely dazed as you try to make sense of what’s going on.

Zen goes to join you and your daughter, sitting down on the bed beside you and placing a quick kiss to your lips. “Good morning, princess, and happy brthday,” he greets you in a sing-song voice, and your heart flutters.

You feel Ha-Yun tugging on your arm before you can reply, and both you and Zen glance down at the little girl who looks up at you with excitement dancing behind her large eyes. “Daddy and I have a surprise for you! C'mon!”

You turn your head back to face Zen, wondering if he can answer your unasked question, but he only shrugs his shoulders with a playful laugh. You guess you’ll have to see for yourself.

When Ha-Yun sees you start to get up from bed, she dashes off, expecting you to follow. Zen takes your hand and helps you up, figuring you might need it considering how he was last night. The young man places his hand on the small of your back and leads you to where your surprise was waiting, a content smile painted on his lips as he cherishes how wonderful it is with two of the most gorgeous princesses to ever be in his life.


	34. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff/Slice-of-Life | Just a simple moment of lying in bed together.**

You had decided to only rest your eyes for a few seconds when you feel the bed dip beside you, a new weight joining you. Even without opening your eyes, you already know who it is that took their place on the bed by your side, and your bottom lip becomes trapped beneath your teeth as you try to contain the giggle that threatens to spill out.

“Are you sleeping?” Zen’s soft voice reaches your ears, pulling the corners of your lips up into a smile.

“Yes,” you answer with a cheerful lilt, and behind your closed eyelids, you can still see the smile which your boyfriend mirrors from your cheeky response.

A welcome silence fills the space between the two of you afterwards. Your lips part to let out a content sigh when you feel a warmth on your cheek. Zen’s gaze contains pure admiration dancing behind it as it remains fixated on your features. He runs the back of his hand against you, his knuckles brushing your skin in slow and soft motions, tracing your cheekbones before trailing his hand down to your jawline.

The actor breathes out slowly as he brings his other hand to drape over your waist. He pulls you closer against his body, and you accept it with no hesitation, choosing to actually cuddle even more and bury your face into Zen’s chest. His body shakes against you as chuckles rumble out of him, the young man’s lips descending to the crown of your head.

Zen allows his legs to brush against yours, his feet playing with your own before tangling the limbs together. The hand on your back traces small circles on you, and you can feel Zen’s warmth even through your clothes.

The young man then moves to thread his fingers through your hair, his expression softening at the sensation and your pleased sighs from his actions. You feel him shift around a bit, the sheets rustling around you before Zen’s breath fans your face. The laugh that leaves you is interrupted as your lips are suddenly molded with Zen’s own, and you can feel yourself melting against him.

A moment far too short later, Zen pulls back, separating his lips from yours but still close enough to have your breaths mingle together with each rise and fall of your chests.

You allow a few more seconds of comfortable silence to settle before deciding to speak. “Go to sleep, Zen.”

“After you,” Zen replies with an exhaled laugh as he cups your cheek, his thumb stroking the expanse of skin. The actor pulls you flush against him before continuing with his exploration of your body once more.


	35. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Fluff | You take a stroll along the shore where you meet somebody new.**  
>  **NOTE:** Fantasy!AU: Merman!Zen

There was something about the land that seemed so fascinating to a sea-dweller like Zen. Perhaps because it was a world he doesn’t know much of and wanted to learn more, or perhaps it was out of mere curiosity. Humans were such strange creatures, and though they were interesting, they were quite dangerous towards merpeople.

What was it about immortality that made humans act so violent and greedy to get a chance at it? It wasn’t like the humans knew if those legends about merpeople were true. …Well, the legends of merpeople and their link towards immortality weren’t too far off. Zen himself has never come into contact with a human, but he has heard stories from others, so despite his curiosity towards the complicated creatures, he did maintain a safe distance from them.

But even so, Zen wanted to see what the land was like. The merman couldn’t leave the sea for too long, but he did enjoy spending some time on the shore in the middle of the night with no humans in sight as his eyes scanned around the area and starry sky.

It was just like any regular night with him spending some idle time on the shore when Zen picked up on some footsteps in the sand. He glanced around and saw a human from afar. You were walking along the shore, unable to find some sleep and decided to go for a quick stroll. Zen immediately retreated back to the water, but he couldn’t help but be curious. This was his first time seeing a human after all, so he stayed behind, still keeping a safe distance away and hidden away by the night.

You sit down onto the sand with a heavy sigh, wiggling your toes in the grains that offer ticklish sensations. The corners of your lips mar themselves into a frown as you recall something unpleasant from the day, and out of frustration, you pick up a small stone and throw it into the water. You were expecting to hear a splash, but all you heard instead was a voice.

“Ow!”

Your eyes widen, and you immediately stand up in a panic. “Who’s there?!”

Zen was about to leave at risk of getting caught, but he can see the fear in your expression, and he bites his lip. Human or not, he wasn’t one to leave a woman in distress. Trying to push away the thoughts of what the consequences might be, the merman makes himself known to you. “You should be careful throwing stuff into the ocean. People live here.”

Confusion etches its way onto your features as this gorgeous young man is revealed in the moonlight, his silvery white hair catching the moonlight in all the right ways. “Who…are you?” You ask slowly before your eyes look into the water and realize that this young man doesn’t have any legs but a— “Are you a merman?!” You gasp in awe and wonder.

There’s a small moment of silence before Zen asks, “…Are you not going to try to catch me to eat me?”

“What? Why would I do that?” Your face scrunches up in disgust at the idea.

“Isn’t that what you humans do with us? Eating the flesh of us merfolk to gain immortality?”

You furrow your eyebrows together. “I have no idea what kind of humans you’ve been hanging out with, but I’m not like that.” Suddenly realizing how rude you were being, you quickly introduce yourself, offering your name to the merman.

“I’m Zen,” the male introduces himself to you after coming to the decision that you seem friendly enough.

After that, it sort of became a natural occurrence for the two of you to meet up on the shore in the middle of the night. Both you and Zen engaged in conversations about each other’s world, interested in the way the other lived; however, the conversations started to shift at some point. It was no longer about the other’s world as a whole, but about the other as a person. The topics of discussion changed from the foods people eat to your favourite type of food, or places that exist to places you’ve been to and would want to visit.

“You know,” Zen starts one day, “we’re always talking here on the shore. How about we go a bit further into the water?”

You hesitate for a moment. “I-I would like to, but…the thing is…I don’t know how to swim. I-I’m afraid of drowning, to be honest, especially at night with nobody else around.”

“I’m here,” Zen reminds you with a reassuring smile. “I’ll keep you safe.”

You don’t know why, but you end up trusting the merman. You give a slow nod of your head. “Okay then, tomorrow night. I’ll be sure to wear my swimsuit.”

As promised, the next night, you had worn a swimsuit underneath your usual attire. Warmth crawled up to Zen’s cheeks as he watched you strip down to it before you take a few steps into the water. “It’s cold!” You complain with a shiver, but you don’t back out. You’ve already gone this far.

You continue walking, the seafloor getting deeper and deeper, and a sense of anxiety fills you the more your body is submerged in water. You’re on your tiptoes by now, and Zen immediately goes to your side, grabbing hold of your hand. “It’s okay, I’m right here. Just relax…”

You nod, putting your faith and trust in the merman, and he guides you a bit further into the water, squeezing your hand and not once letting go. You kick your legs around for a bit, trying to figure out what kind of movement would help you stay afloat, and after a while, you finally get used to it. Even after becoming more comfortable, however, Zen doesn’t let go of you, tilting his head to the side as he stares at you.

“This is the closest we’ve ever been,” the merman notes with a small hum, the sound ringing pleasantly in your ear.

You find yourself blushing at the realization, and offer an awkward sound of acknowledgement, finding yourself unable to trust your own voice at the moment. At your silence, Zen decides to continue, “It’s a bit strange… I didn’t expect humans to be so…soft to the touch. It’s nice, and I quite like it.”

Almost as though to prove his point, Zen trails a finger along the length of your arm, starting from the wrist all the way to your shoulders. Your heart leaps in your chest when he doesn’t stop, dragging all of his fingers now along the column of your neck to your jawline before cupping your cheek. Your heart hammers against you when Zen locks his gaze with yours.

There’s something about the way he looks at you that makes your cheeks flush. Somehow, it seems like your senses are heightened, and you can take note of every single detail. Your forms reflected on the surface of the water. The moonlight illuminating the pair of you. The subtle sounds of moving water. The warmth of Zen’s body against yours. The way his shaky breaths mix with yours in the small space between your lips as Zen leans closer towards you, tilting his head to the side which allows some of his hair around his shoulders to fall off.

You close your eyes in anticipation, and you feel Zen’s lips on the corner of your mouth. He lingers there for a moment before suddenly leaning back, almost as though just realizing what he was doing.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know why I—I-I just felt like…” The merman stumbles with his words before trailing off, the redness of his cheeks plainly obvious even in the darkness of the night.

You squeeze Zen’s hand, prompting him to look up at you. “I think I understand…”


	36. Zen/Hyun Ryu | Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Angst/Hurt/Comfort | After waiting for so long, you decided it was time to move on. But then you meet Zen again at a party…**

You liked to believe yourself as someone patient, but sometimes, waiting was just too much. It tore you apart, piece by piece, as minutes turned into hours which turned into days which turned into weeks.

_“Wait for me. It’ll be fine, and I’ll be back before you know it.”_

Those words that Zen left you with before he went on that ride on his motorbike still lingered in your mind, ringing in your ears. You’ve played his parting words over and over, believing them to be true, so you did as he said. You waited. Slowly. _Agonizingly_. He would come back. That was what the aspiring actor, your ever loving boyfriend, told you when he left, and you held onto that promise for as long as you could.

He lied.

You stopped waiting.

You couldn’t do it. Time was your enemy, and you lost. You couldn’t wait for your knight in shining armour or your prince charming any longer. You remember the fairy tales you and Zen would laugh and giggle over during those summer days with vivid clarity, but that was all they were. Fairy tales. They didn’t exist. Waiting got you nowhere. If anything, waiting pulled you _back_.

It was time. You had to move on, or else you would waste away.

You were arm-in-arm with your friend, laughing and enjoying yourself at this extravagant party. It was your first time being here, but according to your friend, these parties were actually once a normal and regular thing before the hosts suddenly decided to stop for some reason. You offered a thoughtful hum in response, taking a sip from your drink as you glanced around the venue.

There was previously a bit of a commotion with the hosts. Apparently one of the hosts, a gorgeous young woman, had taken the mic in search for the party co-ordinator, and upon finding the person she was looking for, the party resumed as normal. It was starting to get stuffy inside the room, so you excused yourself to get some fresh air on the veranda.

The moment you stepped outside, the familiar scent of cigarette smoke filled your nose, and your eyes widened at the white-haired figure who leaned over the railing. His back was much broader than you last remembered, and his height much taller even when leaning forward. Your lips parted in surprise, your breath hitching.

… _No_.

You’ve already moved on. Crushing whatever feelings rose in your chest at this fateful encounter, you step further out into the veranda and take your spot a fair distance away from Zen, opting against striking up a conversation with him. The sound of clicking heels pulls Zen out of his thoughts and turns his head when he feels somebody else’s presence join him.

His heart stopped. It couldn’t be…?

Zen stares long and hard at your profile, debating with himself as to whether or not he should speak to you. He still wasn’t sure if you were who he thought you were; after all, you looked much more mature than all those years before. Your features were much sharper, and your figure more defined. But even so, there was only one person throughout all of Zen’s life that could pull at his heart like this.

The entire time, you can feel Zen’s eyes staring intently at you, but you will yourself to keep your eyes steady on the setting sun on the horizon. You can hear the young man shuffle closer beside you, and you struggle with keeping your expression neutral. Zen clears his throat, but you ignore him. You won’t give in. Not so easily.

"It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Zen asks, hoping it would be enough to get you to look at him.

You shrug your shoulders and grunt in response, not once averting your gaze. The actor frowns, his eyebrows stitched together. Were you ignoring him? Silence stretches throughout the air when Zen’s velvety voice whispers your name, and you flinch.

You lost.

Your reaction was enough to confirm the young man’s suspicion, and suddenly, his hand is wrapped around your wrist. You swat his hand away with fierce swiftness. His touch felt like it burned you, and your reaction felt like it burned Zen. The actor looks at you with confusion and hurt, his eyes wavering as he slowly brings his hand down to his side.

“…Are you angry with me?” He whispers out his question, his voice so quiet that the chatter of the party almost buried it, but no matter what, you can still distinctly hear him.

Your heart clenches, and your hands ball into fists as you try to restrain yourself. “ _Angry_? Am I _angry_ with you?! _Of course I am_! You _left_ me!! I waited for you just like you promised, and you never came back! So _yes_ , I’m _angry_!!”

You heave for air, all the pent up frustration throughout the years finally making itself known. Zen took one step back, not having expected such a passionate outburst, but when your words finally sink in, guilt washes over him. The young man bows his head, his eyes downcast.

“I’m sorry.”

You thought about crossing your arms and scoffing, but you just didn’t have the energy to. Besides, seeing Zen so downtrodden, you couldn’t bring yourself to kick him even further down. Instead, you take a deep breath and ask the question you’ve always wanted to ask: “Why didn’t you come back…?”

“I couldn’t.”

“You… _couldn’t_?” You spit his words back at him, causing him to flinch.

After a small moment of silence to prepare himself, Zen speaks, “I was ashamed. I… That night, I ended up getting into an accident, and I was ashamed when I came to the realization that perhaps I didn’t deserve you. I didn’t think you would want to be with someone so reckless and broken like me—”

“How could you decide that on your own?” You accuse, your anger starting to boil within your chest once more. “You—I… I waited for you. Because you would always come back. Was I _nothing_ to you? Was our relationship so… _weak_ that you could throw it away so easily like that?”

“No!” Zen answers desperately, his hands flying to grip your shoulders. “There isn’t a single day I don’t regret my decision back then. I’m not proud of what I did. Of who I _was_ , but I like to believe that I’ve changed now. I thought about contacting you again, but I had no way of knowing where you were, or where you’ve gone.”

You remained quiet, not knowing what to say.

“I still love you,” Zen confesses, his words still ringing true after all this time. You force yourself to bring your gaze upwards, your vision blurred as the emotions were too much for you to contain. Zen flashes you an awkward smile, one of his hands moving to cup your cheeks, wiping away your tears with the pad of his thumb.

It’s such a familiar sensation, there’s nothing more you wanted to do than to fall into his arms. You lean your head closer to his warmth, the corners of your lips twitching into a nostalgic smile. You’ve missed this so much. Even if you managed to convince yourself that you were over Zen, your heart disagreed with you.

“Will you give me another chance?” The actor asks, hopeful. “Another chance for us to be together?”

You close your eyes, contemplating your answer. “…Meet me in our special place. I’ll be waiting.”


	37. Zen/Hyun Ryu | You Know I Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Action/Drama | You and Zen have been taken hostage.**

Zen takes a sharp inhale of breath at the pain in his side, his arms gingerly clutching around his stomach as his body curls up to help alleviate the pain. The actor had been beaten down and kicked around with no mercy, but he had no choice. After all, these worthless scum had taken you hostage, and Zen had no choice but to give up his own well-being for yours.

You flinch and turn away when the towering man plants one of his boots onto Zen’s stomach with enough force to make your boyfriend gasp for air, his eyes bulging wide. You don’t want to look away, but at the same time, you can’t bear to see the actor continue getting hurt for your own sake. It’s your fault; if you had just been more wary of your surroundings…

Another anguished cry leaves Zen’s lips, pulling you out of your self-blame and thoughts. Despite your best efforts, you’re unable to suppress the pitiful sob from your throat as you hang your head low. You’ve long since given up on trying to break free from your binds. The ropes only seemed to dig deeper into the skin of your wrists the more you struggled, making the skin raw.

That one heartbreaking sound reaches Zen’s ears, and he fights against the searing pain to lift his eyes to look at you. Sensing his gaze, you swallow the unpleasant lump in your throat and force yourself to direct your attention to the young man. There’s still a fire in his eyes, and it makes your chest swell with hope. The two of you manage to exchange words through just your gaze alone.

Zen’s eyes flicker over to the door behind you, the only exit in the room, before bringing his eyes back to meet yours. You understand that he means to escape, and though you want to believe in him, the doubt still creeps onto your visage. The actor flashes you a quick and small smile.

_‘Trust me.’_

**Author's Note:**

> More of my works can be found on [my Tumblr](http://avistella.tumblr.com/)


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